Tips for Hosting with Vision Loss
Hadley learner Sharon Noseworthy shares tips and tricks for hosting get-togethers of any type or size, no matter your vision. Sharon has always loved the role of hostess and has learned to adjust her approach now that her own vision has declined.
Hadley Presents
Tips for Hosting with Vision Loss
Presented by Ricky Enger
Ricky Enger: Welcome to Hadley Presents. I'm your host, Ricky Enger, inviting you to sit back, relax, and enjoy a conversation with the experts. In this episode, Hadley learner Sharon Noseworthy joins us to share her tips and tricks for hosting a successful gathering. Welcome to the show, Sharon.
Sharon Noseworthy: Thank you, Ricky. It's a pleasure to be here.
Ricky Enger: Excellent, I love how this came about. You were actually taking some Hadley workshops and giving us great feedback, and during that process you noticed, hey, I think something might be missing and I can contribute some ideas if you're all amenable to that and certainly we were, just to have the chance to sit down with you and talk about something that I know many, many people struggle with, I do myself certainly, thinking about having people into my home and making it a relaxing and fun experience. So, I'm so happy that you're here to share some tips and tricks. Before we jump into the questions, why don't we just get a little intro and tell us a bit about who you are?
Sharon Noseworthy: Well, I am a lady with low vision who loved to host. I was the one who liked to provide the venue for any type of gathering. I did all the family gatherings and that could be anywhere from five of us to up to 40 of us. I lost my vision, or it started to decrease when I was in my early 50s and initially thought, I can't do this anymore, but I realized how important it is to our mental health, our physical health to socialize with others. So, I found out that I can do it, I just have to take a little bit more time and do it in a smarter way.
Ricky Enger: So, when I think about gatherings, I start to imagine, okay, I have 40 people in my house and I wish I had a bigger kitchen and oh no, there's so much that can go wrong and before I've even envisioned the possibility of doing this, I've talked myself out of it because it feels so big and so overwhelming and I think a lot of people can relate to that. So, rather than throwing everything into the mix and saying, you're going to host a huge dinner party, is there some way that someone who really wants to do that socializing, who to bring people into their home, what's the best way to kind of take that first step that's not so overwhelming?
Sharon Noseworthy: First of all, be yourself. If you are casual, be casual. If you enjoy something a little bit more formal, like I do, then do what's comfortable for you, but the key there is be yourself and start off small. If you're really nervous, just invite someone in for a coffee or a tea and a cookie, and my first tip is put a napkin under those cookies on that plate, so they don't slip off. Once you've invited someone in for a coffee and that went well, you might invite two or three others to join you. Then after that, you might want to go on to a small lunch with one other person, build it up in increments, step by step by step, and once you feel comfortable, then try something new.
The key to that is planning. Even if it's just a cup of coffee and a cookie, you have to plan. Do I have the sugar, the cream, the spoon, the plate, the bag of cookies, if that's what we're using, and put everything by the coffee pot or the coffee maker. I love a coffee maker because I just push a button and it's all pre-measured, which helps me to feel more comfortable. So, that's what I would say, Ricky, just take it slow.
Ricky Enger: So, when you did this, you had a lot of hosting duties under your belt before you began losing vision, and then you needed to just jump in and figure out what worked, so that you could continue doing that thing that you loved. Do you have some just stories that you can share about things that happened when you jumped in and figured it out and maybe things didn't go exactly as planned or just something that you learned along the way?
Sharon Noseworthy: I think I'll start off with something simple, like a coaster. Get rid of the coasters and use little cocktail napkins instead because I found repeatedly, I was putting my cup on the edge of that and causing myself a problem, and along those lines, I couldn't see the plain glass any longer. So, I saw these pretty blue, long-stemmed wine glasses, and I bought them, and I put them on the table and, sighted or not, those glasses were not a good idea. So, now I just use a squatty, short glass. It doesn't matter what I give other people, I have my comfort glasses, I call it, and I might prefer a red wine to a white wine, cranberry juice to ginger ale, for example, so that the glass is more visible, and along those lines, I'm always looking for my cup. My friends and I are getting older, and we tried the trinkets, but nobody could remember which trinket was theirs. Now, we've created paper donuts with a slit and we put our names on those paper donuts and put them around the stem of the glass and if I lose mine, they can help me find it. I saw the most beautiful tablecloth and it had the most beautiful pattern. So, I purchased it and I put it on the table only to find out that everything blended into that pattern, and I couldn't see a thing.
So, now I use a plain polyester cloth that can be thrown into the washer and contrast is good there too. If the dishes are dark, then light, and vice versa. Oh, I remember once I put the cloth on upside down, but the guests, they didn't mention it and I don't even think they noticed. And I think the funniest one was I had made a plan and I didn't stick with my plan. My plan was dishes in the cupboard, we'll serve in the kitchen, and take the dishes to the table. I didn't stick with the plan, the food got put on the table, we all sat down, and the people stared at me, dishes still in the cupboard. I learned to make a plan and stick with it.
Ricky Enger: As you're planning one of these things, it can be easy to maybe get hung up on certain details and it turns out that some things are really, really important that you should stick with the plan and some things, maybe you just have something in your mind that turns out not to necessarily be true about hosting a gathering. Are there things that people tend to believe about having a successful gathering, that just turn out not to be true?
Sharon Noseworthy: There's so many myths. One of them being that you have to have all your dishes matching. The fact that all of the dishes have to be porcelain? No, paper plates are perfectly acceptable, especially in a larger gathering and the fact you have to do it all yourself, no. I use the bakery, I use the deli, I may use the pasta shop for a lasagna, for example, or even a frozen lasagna. I will use takeout. Some of our best parties have been with takeout. We used to have a large gathering going to a restaurant and it just got smaller and smaller groups. So, one day I called someone and said, why don't we have pizza at the house? That was a huge success. The guests brought the pizza, and we had a marvelous time. I also have called a couple of other friends and said, I am really looking forward to some Chinese, but dinner for two isn't nearly as exciting as dinner for six. And again, we share the cost, and we have a party. Guests like to bring food and it makes so much more sense than say a hostess gift and potlucks can be so simple and so wonderful. The other thing, real myth, that I find is entertaining is expensive. Well, it can be, but it doesn't have to be. If you give me two cans of chickpeas, a can of tomatoes and a little bit of grated, we call it shaky, Parmesan cheese, I can make a soup that I have served a company. The same goes with a good chili. So, there are many myths. I think we can dispel most of them.
Ricky Enger: And it helps so much because if there's anything to just take away from the stress of putting together a gathering like that and get you closer to the real purpose of it, which is just to get together and have fun. Are there things that are sort of universal when it comes to hosting a gathering, whether you're hosting two people or 50 people, are there things that you've found that really help you to have a successful time with it all?
Sharon Noseworthy: Yes, and the first thing I'll say, it goes back to taking the time to think about it and being organized. I often think of my event like a recipe. I know what the outcome is going to be if I'm serving tea and a cookie. I know what the event is, but I still have to think about it. Do I have the tea? Do I have the cookies? What time is the guest arriving? Is everything set out, the beverage area it's all set out if we're serving just the coffee, the creamer, the sugar, the spoon? So, that I'm totally organized. If I'm having a birthday, for example, I make sure I have the serviettes and a birthday candle. If I'm organizing a luncheon, I'll think about it a couple of days ahead of time. Groceries, I want to get those a couple of days ahead of time.
Whether I pick them up or someone else picks them up for me, as we know, Ricky, quite often we end up having to go back to that grocery store for something and I make sure I have all of the tools. For example, if we need a corkscrew, I've got the corkscrew or what I like to do is have a pile of clean dish cloths and tea towels for cleanup afterwards. I do not want a candle on my table or anywhere in my house. So, they're put away and on the center of my table will be a jug of water, maybe with a slice of two of lemon in it, and some glasses around it so that people can help themselves. I clear off the tables where we're going to be sitting, so that I can put my things down without a problem and my guests can put things down without a problem.
If it's a larger gathering, I use Siri for the timer. I have a comprehensive schedule of what I'm going to do, and I probably have the times written down. As result, Siri is in my pocket. That's what I use to expedite that process and ensure that I'm where I'm supposed to be when I'm supposed to be there. I'll set the table a day ahead of time if we're going to be seated and wrap the cutlery in some napkins. For dessert, the dessert plates are in the cupboard with the pie server and the knife, et cetera, so all we have to do is open that cupboard. I'm a great believer in preparing ahead of time.
Ricky Enger: That's great, just a list of things that you can do so that you're not rushing around the day of trying to do things and you are not relaxed, and so it's probably not going to be a relaxing gathering. I love the tip about setting the table way ahead of time as well because you can put things exactly where you want them to be without there being guests there and you're wondering where everyone is, and if you're going to put something down in a place where there's already something else, nope, you've cleared the table. You've got it set. All of those things make perfect sense just to do them ahead of time, so that you are comfortable.
And I guess speaking of being comfortable, it can feel really uncomfortable for some of us to invite people into the home because there is the situation of sometimes people want to be a little too helpful when you have low vision or you're blind, and you have somebody asking if you need help to find your own kitchen and that can be a little disheartening. So, do you have some tips about just staying comfortable, staying in control of your own space? You are the host and at the same time maybe some help is welcome. So, how do you manage that?
Sharon Noseworthy: And again, I think that goes back to being organized and thinking things through ahead of time, recognizing what you do need help with, as you said, and where you really don't want help. I'm going to include my husband in this because he gets flustered in the kitchen if there's anyone else, including me, in that kitchen. So, to have guests invade his space, it becomes uncomfortable for everybody. So, my job is to ensure that when a guest comes to the kitchen and says, may I help you, I either firmly say no, please help yourself to a beverage or whatever. If I need their help, which I often do with the pre-dinner beverage, I will designate somebody to do that please, and would you mind refreshing the guest's glass? So, they're quite pleased to do that, and that takes away that responsibility. The persistent person, I keep a plate of appetizer just for that occasion and I trust it in their hands and say, would you mind passing this, please?
I will also ask somebody to help me with dessert. If we go back to that pie, there is no way I'm going to cut that into eight equal pieces. I just take everything out of the cupboard, as I mentioned, it was all there. I'll either do it in the kitchen or place it on the table in front of them and they're very happy to do that. So, the key here is to designate, to keep control over the situation with a cheerful smile, be firm about what and where you do and do not need help.
Ricky Enger: Again, there's nothing more disheartening than having someone try and take control and make you feel like a stranger in your own home, so having these tips that assure that you stay in control and also make other people feel useful because they enjoy that, so that's perfect. As we wrap up here, I'm wondering about kind of the overall purpose of a gathering, which is to let everyone come in, have a great time, enjoy each other's company, and it sounds like, well of course that's what you want to do. It's maybe not obvious how to go about doing that. So, how can you ensure that you're having a gathering where there's not this silence as everyone is clicking their forks on their plates and it's awkward? How do you do that?
Sharon Noseworthy: I think we've talked a lot about food and place settings, et cetera, but I think it's a good reminder that it's not about the food, it's not about the place setting. It's totally about the companionship and having a common interest is the key, whether that is the fact that you're familiar with each other, and you're going to review your history, storytelling, et cetera, whether it's something new that you are trying together. For example, we've had a real success with wine tasting. We call it food and wine tasting because there's more emphasis on the food, which everybody just brings an appetizer of some sort, and I've since learned that you can do the same thing with tea. There are so many wonderful teas out there and people could come and bring their favorite tea and people could try that.
The same thing could work with coffee pods, as a matter of fact, or craft beer or cheeses. It's just your imagination with the tasting. There's also travel, and even if you aren't traveling, you can live vicariously through others who travel, and I've joined and enjoyed travel log groups. Everybody has about a half an hour to present their last trip or their trip that they're researching. Also, birds sounds, Babbel, getting together to learn a new language. I joined a group where the gentleman had a lot of learning tapes, and even though I couldn't see the videos, I could hear them, and then we talked about what was in those videos afterwards. Trivia, that's also a wonderful thing. I played cards for a long time with large print cards, and now we have to use electronics for me to play and I thought I could turn on my PC, I could turn on my iPad, two people could bring their iPad and the four of us can play in my home electronically.
Ricky Enger: As long as everyone is together and having a great time, I guess that's what makes a successful gathering. I love it. Sharon, I want to thank you, so, so much for sharing your stories, all of your tips and making this sound like a less daunting venture and actually making it sound like a lot of fun. Do you have any last thoughts that you want to share?
Sharon Noseworthy: Yes, I've taken a basket of ideas and thrown them out and I'm hoping somebody will gather one of them and be inspired to open their door and say, hello, won't you come on in?
Ricky Enger: Thank you, I love it. Thanks so much for joining us.
Sharon Noseworthy: Thank you, Ricky, for having me here.
Ricky Enger: Got something to say? Share your thoughts about this episode of Hadley Presents or make suggestions for future episodes. We'd love to hear from you. Send us an email at [email protected]. That's [email protected] or leave us a message at (847) 784-2870. Thanks for listening.
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Episode 40
Photographer Michael Nye chats with us about his latest art exhibit, "My Heart is Not Blind," a collection of photos and audio interviews of people with visual impairment. Through these stories, Michael provides a look into what he calls "our shared humanity and shared fragility," as well as common misunderstandings about blindness.
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Episode 39
Champion blind golfer Chad NeSmith talks about how vision loss shaped his life, and how he shares his passion for golf with others with vision loss.
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Episode 38
Doug Walker, Hadley co-director of R&D, and Ed Haines, Hadley Chief Program Officer, chat about the making of Hadley's "Adjusting to Vision Loss" workshop series. The series guides people through the emotional aspects of vision loss. Doug serves as the series' personal storyteller and narrator.
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Episode 37
In this episode we chat with ophthalmologist Dr. Angela Elam from the University of Michigan. Dr. Elam addresses common questions and concerns, and shares her advice for returning to the eye doctor among shifting COVID restrictions.
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Episode 36
Dorrie Rush, OE's Chief Content Officer, joins us for a chat about this wonderful online resource chock full of tips for living well with vision loss. You'll find great articles on using tech tools, tips for health and well-being, stories from others living with vision loss, a terrific podcast, and more.
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Episode 35
Learn about a new service that’s just launched in 2020 called Accessible Pharmacy. Accessible packaging and labeling and personalized customer support all free of charge to the end consumer, and specifically designed for those with vision impairment.
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Episode 34
Audio Describe the World! That’s the mantra of UniDescription: a free smartphone app that provides audio descriptions and navigation tips for US National Parks and other public places.
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Episode 33
In this episode, we chat with low vision optometrist Dr. Mark Wilkinson from the University of Iowa. Dr. Wilkinson answers common questions and shares his advice for getting the most out of low vision optometry appointments.
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Episode 32
Jan and Elgie Dow share how vision loss has changed their relationship and the advice they have for other couples.
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Episode 31
Join Hadley advisor Eddie Becerra as he shares about losing his sight from diabetic retinopathy, and how he gained a new perspective on life.
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Episode 30
Classically trained chef Regina Mitchell shares how vision loss shaped her life. Regina worked her way back into the kitchen and is now helping others cook with confidence, no matter their vision.
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Episode 29
In this episode we sit down with the director of Well Connected, an organization that offers free, call-in groups for adults over 60 on a wide variety of interest areas: games, music, meditation and more.
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Episode 28
Support groups can be a great way to connect with others who "get it." Listen in as as low vision support group leaders Lynndah Lahey and Judy Davis describe how their groups are run and what their members get out of them.
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Episode 27
World-renowned artist John Bramblitt describes how vision loss has shaped his painting and his life.
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Episode 26
In this episode, we chat with Dr. Tim Murray of the American Society of Retina Specialists. Dr. Murray treats eye diseases such as macular degeneration and diabetic retinopathy. He answers common questions and shares his insights into the future of treatments.
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Episode 25
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Jullia Rosdahl, a glaucoma specialist from the Duke Eye Center, and ask her some of the many questions we’ve heard about glaucoma, its risk factors, and how to treat the disease.
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Episode 24
Hadley learning expert Jessica Smith shares her experience raising a puppy that may eventually become a guide dog. She covers what she’s learned and things to consider if you’d like to volunteer to help out a guide dog school.
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Episode 23
October 15 is White Cane Safety Day, a day to recognize this important tool that empowers people with visual impairment to travel safely and independently. It also brings attention to the general public to be mindful of visually impaired neighbors, giving them additional consideration and right-of-way when needed. We sat down with Kellee Sanchez, an orientation and mobility specialist, to talk about the history of White Cane Safety Day, and how a white cane can help those with vision loss.
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Episode 22
Be My Eyes is a free smartphone app that connects visually impaired users with sighted volunteers for help with visual tasks. We sat down with Will Butler from Be My Eyes to hear how the app started, tips for using it, and exciting new features that provide specialized assistance, including with Hadley.
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Episode 21
Tracy Simon from Eye2Eye peer support program shares her story of vision loss, how her program works, and the benefits of connecting with and supporting each other.
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Episode 20
Ophthalmologist Dr. Lori Provencher chats with us about how the coronavirus pandemic has changed doctor's visits. She shares tips for staying safe, questions to ask, and what to expect before, during and after your next office visit.
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Episode 19
Mindfulness expert Tiffany Guske returns to the podcast to share tips and insights on how to cope with life's challenges, such as vision loss or an illness, building resilience and focusing on self-compassion instead of judgment.
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Episode 18
Author of "When You Can't Believe Your Eyes," Hannah Fairbairn, chats with us about how to communicate in everyday situations when you can't rely on visual cues. Hear Hannah's own story about losing vision, her practical tips on adjusting to vision loss, and advice she has on regaining confidence in social situations.
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Episode 17
In this episode, we continue the conversation on living during the COVID-19 pandemic with a visual impairment. Listen in as we share some experiences, tips, and strategies for coping during these difficult times.
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Episode 16
The COVID-19 crisis has brought a wave of change and uncertainty to our everyday lives. Listen in as we share personal experiences, resources and some helpful tips...all from a blind or low vision perspective.
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Episode 15
Assistive technology experts Ricky Enger and Steve Kelley review BlindShell, a mobile phone built for those with visual impairment. They discuss the basic features, how it differs from a traditional smartphone, and how to decide if it's right for you.
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Episode 14
This week we sit down with Dan Roberts, author of "The First Year-Age-Related Macular Degeneration: An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed" and founder of MDSupport website and support group. Hear Dan's own story about being diagnosed with macular degeneration and what prompted him to reach out to others facing similar circumstances.
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Episode 13
Listen in as we explore the basics of using hand tools with a visual impairment. Gil Johnson, a visually impaired home repair expert, shares tips on everything from measuring, to leveling to hammering.
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Episode 12
Elections are right around the corner. So we gathered a panel to talk about options for voting no matter your level of vision. Listen in as we explore everything you need to know, from registering to vote to the many ways you can cast your ballot.
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Episode 11
Ricky sits down with Android Accessibility Product Manager Brian Kemler to discuss what is available on Android phones for those with visual impairment. From adjusting font size and color, or opting to listen with TalkBack instead, the commitment to making these powerful tools more useful to a wider audience is clear.
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Episode 10
In this episode, we chat with Gil Johnson, an experienced home repair and woodworking enthusiast about things to consider when undertaking home repair with blindness or low vision.
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Episode 9
Hadley's Debbie Good sits down to continue a conversation with author and visually impaired world traveler Dr. Wendy David. Together they explore a wide variety of helpful hints covering train, plane, and cruise travel as well as practical information on traveling internationally and navigating hotels.
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Episode 8
In this episode, Ricky Enger chats with Joe Strechay, associate producer on the Apple TV+ series SEE. The show takes place in a future where, after a viral apocalypse, all humans are blind. Joe takes us behind the scenes of the show and his work to help build an inclusive set for the cast and crew, including those with low to no vision. From casting to costumes, scripting to scenery, hear how Joe helped create a science fiction world that strives to be authentic to life with vision loss.
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Episode 7
Hadley's Debbie Good sits down with travel author Dr. Wendy David in this latest episode. In part one of this two-part interview, Debbie and Wendy discuss tips for traveling with confidence as a blind or low vision person, advice on picking destinations, considerations for traveling alone and in a group, and more!
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Episode 6
Ricky Enger is joined by Hadley's Debbie Worman and mindfulness expert Tiffany Guske in this latest episode. Debbie and Tiffany talk about what mindfulness is and the specific benefits that mindfulness can offer for those living with vision loss. Tiffany then walks listeners through a short mindfulness exercise.
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Episode 5
In this episode, Ricky Enger speaks with New York Times columnist Frank Bruni, who shares the story of his sudden vision loss from NAION. Bruni speaks candidly on his adjustment to the change, maintaining a realistic attitude towards his vision loss, and the failure of medical professionals to provide resources after diagnosis.
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Episode 4
Listen in as we share practical tips on how to keep your handwriting readable. This resource-packed episode includes many useful techniques and solutions to common handwriting challenges. Hadley Learning Expert Jennifer Ottowitz chats with Sue Dalton, Certified Vision Rehabilitation Therapist.
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Episode 3
In this episode, Hadley's Steve Kelley speaks with Kendra Farrow, from the National Research and Training Center on Blindness and Low Vision, located at Mississippi State. The episode serves as a guide for those new to vision rehabilitation, including determining who is eligible for services, key differences between the medical and social services models, and how to locate services in each state.
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Episode 2
In this episode, Ricky Enger chats with Microsoft's Jeremy Curry, a Senior Program Manager with the Windows Accessibility team. New vision accessibility features are now available in Windows 10 for low vision and screen reader users.
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Episode 1
In the inaugural episode of Hadley Presents, Ricky Enger and Jonathan Mosen of Aira chat about the ways in which a visual interpreter service, such as Aira, can be used to gain valuable visual information and enhance travel and leisure activities for blind and low vision users.