"There's no way around it, just a way through it"
Doug was filled with uncertainty after realizing that the vision he lost was unlikely to be restored. His anxiety grew as the silver bullet he hoped for never materialized. But he did find things that helped him manage and continue to live his life with purpose.
Hadley
“There’s no way around it, just a way through it”
Doug: I was truly going down the grief path. I was looking for the silver bullet. I was looking for something that would make this all go away. But there wasn't any silver bullet.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Doug: Hi, everybody. My name's Doug. I'm from Carmel, Indiana, which is a suburb of Indianapolis. So about two and a half years ago, I had what's called non-arthritic Anterior Ischemic Optic Neuritis in my right eye. So, my right eye started losing some sight and went to the ophthalmologist and got diagnosed. I mean there's nothing we can do.
And you're the result of a disruption of blood flow to your optic nerve and you got some damage there and you're going to have vision loss in that eye. And I did as a as it ran its course. But my left eye was still fine. And after some adjustment to depth perception, etc., I went on with my life as I always had.
Approximately two years later, in June of 2025, my left eye started down the same path. So now, instead of just having NAION as they call it now, I had subsequent bilateral NAION which is extremely rare from what I'm told. My vision loss journey really started just about six months ago. I was in a mental mess. It was really tough.
I, you know, I just was looking forward and trying to figure out how am I going to live my life. You know, my with just full of uncertainty, full of anxiety, depression. I didn't sleep very much, just kind of felt helpless, felt lack of purpose in life and all those things. I was truly going down the grief path.
And for me, that lasted about four months. And in that time, I was looking for the silver bullet. I was looking for something that was gonna make this all go away. And so, I did a lot of things that helped me. I ramped up my exercise regimen for sure, and that would take my mind off of my problems for a while.
I, you know, worked with a therapist a little bit and to get some help dealing with anxiety, depression, things work with my primary care doctor or to help with some sleep issues. But there wasn't any silver bullet. There were just things...as long as I was doing something to help keep my mind busy with something else that was good.
And if I was just sitting in the chair doing nothing, that was bad. And so there was one thing that I was told early on in my in that part of my journey. She’s actually an occupational therapist, who goes to our church and she told me, you're just proving that you're human. And now really stuck with me, and it forced me to think a lot deeper about what I'm going through at the time.
And, I knew that, well, this happens when you have a great life change or a great life loss, you know, your brain goes into this grief mode. And that's obviously, you what what's happening to me? And I have experienced that done, before in life, I've lived long enough to have some loss here and there.
But I knew that that's just what happens and what your brain does. It puts you through this tough love period and helps you to negotiate what you're going through. And I think prepares you to be able to survive and thrive much better in your new, life environment after you come out of your grief.
And so, I knew there was an end to it. And I knew that this is something that I'm not alone. Other people go through this too. And I just I knew there was an end and I knew there could be some silver linings in that end and some good things that come out of it. I just gotta plow through it step by step and move forward.
And I learned that, you know, there's no way around it. There's just a way through it, and there's only a way through it on your own two feet.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 100
As Patricia's vision changed, doing things on her own became harder, and at times she felt like no one really understood. Connecting with others going through many of the same things helped her feel less alone and more like herself again.
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Episode 99
Rebecca was used to handling things on her own, but vision loss brought anger, frustration, and challenges she hadn't expected. Over time, she found a different way forward, making room for the hard days, accepting help, and finding people who understood.
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Episode 98
As her vision changed, Martha worried her world might start getting smaller. But a trip reminded her that she didn't have to give up the things she loved. Turns out, asking for a little help can take you a long way.
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Episode 97
Vision loss doesn't always happen all at once. For Kara, it keeps changing, which means she's constantly figuring out what she can and can't do. Hear how she's learning to adjust, deal with the frustrations, and take each day as it comes.
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Episode 96
For Carolyn, connecting with people has always come naturally. When vision loss made it harder to recognize faces, she worried about missing those everyday connections. Hear how speaking up about her vision helped others understand what she needed.
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Episode 95
A close call on a walk changed the way Lance thinks about living with vision loss. It reminded him to stay open, keep learning, and keep moving forward.
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Episode 94
For Dottie, losing her vision meant giving up many things, and there was one farewell that hit especially hard. But after making a difficult choice to let go of something she loved, Dottie found a new perspective on what she had lost—and gained.
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Episode 93
Linda always imagined retirement would mean doing the volunteer work she loved, but after losing her eyesight, she thought that chapter of her life was over. Then one memorable hospital visit reminded her she still had exactly what people needed.
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Episode 92
As Mary's vision worsened, the life she'd always known began slipping out of reach. She wasn't sure where to turn or what might help. But a chance meeting changed things for her in ways she now hopes to pass on.
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Episode 91
When Susan began losing vision, she grew fearful about the future. But she found a source of hope and courage.
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Episode 90
Early in her journey with vision loss, Char was bitter and angry at the world. But one day, a heartfelt conversation helped her turn a corner and, as she put it, "look at vision loss through different eyes."
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Episode 89
The impact vision loss had on Todd's life was profound. Through cycles of anger and depression, he often took it out on those who cared most about him. Then he started channeling those emotions into a new activity, and that made all the difference for him and his family.
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