"There's no way around it, just a way through it"
Doug was filled with uncertainty after realizing that the vision he lost was unlikely to be restored. His anxiety grew as the silver bullet he hoped for never materialized. But he did find things that helped him manage and continue to live his life with purpose.
Hadley
“There’s no way around it, just a way through it”
Doug: I was truly going down the grief path. I was looking for the silver bullet. I was looking for something that would make this all go away. But there wasn't any silver bullet.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Doug: Hi, everybody. My name's Doug. I'm from Carmel, Indiana, which is a suburb of Indianapolis. So about two and a half years ago, I had what's called non-arthritic Anterior Ischemic Optic Neuritis in my right eye. So, my right eye started losing some sight and went to the ophthalmologist and got diagnosed. I mean there's nothing we can do.
And you're the result of a disruption of blood flow to your optic nerve and you got some damage there and you're going to have vision loss in that eye. And I did as a as it ran its course. But my left eye was still fine. And after some adjustment to depth perception, etc., I went on with my life as I always had.
Approximately two years later, in June of 2025, my left eye started down the same path. So now, instead of just having NAION as they call it now, I had subsequent bilateral NAION which is extremely rare from what I'm told. My vision loss journey really started just about six months ago. I was in a mental mess. It was really tough.
I, you know, I just was looking forward and trying to figure out how am I going to live my life. You know, my with just full of uncertainty, full of anxiety, depression. I didn't sleep very much, just kind of felt helpless, felt lack of purpose in life and all those things. I was truly going down the grief path.
And for me, that lasted about four months. And in that time, I was looking for the silver bullet. I was looking for something that was gonna make this all go away. And so, I did a lot of things that helped me. I ramped up my exercise regimen for sure, and that would take my mind off of my problems for a while.
I, you know, worked with a therapist a little bit and to get some help dealing with anxiety, depression, things work with my primary care doctor or to help with some sleep issues. But there wasn't any silver bullet. There were just things...as long as I was doing something to help keep my mind busy with something else that was good.
And if I was just sitting in the chair doing nothing, that was bad. And so there was one thing that I was told early on in my in that part of my journey. She’s actually an occupational therapist, who goes to our church and she told me, you're just proving that you're human. And now really stuck with me, and it forced me to think a lot deeper about what I'm going through at the time.
And, I knew that, well, this happens when you have a great life change or a great life loss, you know, your brain goes into this grief mode. And that's obviously, you what what's happening to me? And I have experienced that done, before in life, I've lived long enough to have some loss here and there.
But I knew that that's just what happens and what your brain does. It puts you through this tough love period and helps you to negotiate what you're going through. And I think prepares you to be able to survive and thrive much better in your new, life environment after you come out of your grief.
And so, I knew there was an end to it. And I knew that this is something that I'm not alone. Other people go through this too. And I just I knew there was an end and I knew there could be some silver linings in that end and some good things that come out of it. I just gotta plow through it step by step and move forward.
And I learned that, you know, there's no way around it. There's just a way through it, and there's only a way through it on your own two feet.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 73
Sherry's vision loss has been gradual yet relentless. Asking for help to do things she used to be able to do on her own is a challenge for her, as it is for many. But she's finding some new tools and new ways to do things.
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Episode 72
Carolyn lost much of her vision after several glaucoma surgeries, leaving her feeling angry and discouraged. But a familiar childhood story inspired her to keep trying, even when tasks seemed impossible.
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Episode 71
Learning he would never see again was heartbreaking for Shannon. Embracing what challenged him, Shannon discovered strength in the unfamiliar.
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Episode 70
The week Jessica was diagnosed with an eye disease that would progressively impair her vision, she also found out she had cancer. A few things have helped her continue to feel strong and less isolated.
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Episode 69
Jack's vision has been declining for years. The hardest part for him is that it just keeps changing, so he needs to keep adapting. A routine Jack's wife put in place for the couple has helped him cope and adjust.
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Episode 68
Losing a fair amount of her vision brought with it a series of other losses for Dia. She began to feel depressed and very fearful. However, she gradually started giving herself pep talks and reconnecting with the things that bring her joy.
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Episode 67
Julia had always lived life on her own terms. So, when vision loss meant giving up her car keys, she used a white cane or her husband's arm to guide her steps, and kept going. Still, she noticed a change in how others treated her… until she made a decision she now calls, "the best thing I ever did."
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Episode 66
When the scenario Leighann had feared for years finally happened and glaucoma took much of her vision, it hit her hard. But her desire to keep living meant challenging herself—even when it scared her.
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Episode 65
Michael's vision loss led him down a long, uncomfortable road, discovering what he had to let go of and what he could still hold on to for his future. He continues to challenge himself to try new things.
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Episode 64
Tamisue's eyesight has diminished to the point where she feels stuck between two worlds—not enough vision to function as she once did, but not fully blind. She fears her world going completely dark. However, an addition to her life has made a tremendous difference for both her and her family.
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Episode 63
The loss Tom feels regarding his vision is complicated because it is ongoing. Acceptance has not come easy. Through the years, though, he has come to approach life a bit differently.
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Episode 62
Anne's declining vision had her feeling down and sorry for herself. But two gifts—one she gave and one she received—helped turn things around for her.