"Having the courage to keep moving"
Losing a fair amount of her vision brought with it a series of other losses for Dia. She began to feel depressed and very fearful. However, she gradually started giving herself pep talks and reconnecting with the things that bring her joy.
Hadley
Having the courage to keep moving
Dia: I was fearful of walking outside. Terribly fearful. And overcoming that fear was huge and it took me quite some time to overcome it.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Dia: Hi, my name is Dia and I live in St. Charles, Illinois. I have a degenerative eye disease called Ischemic optic neuropathy, anterior, which is a medical term for optic nerve stroke. First happened in my left eye approximately six years ago, and it's amazing how the brain takes over and you're able to function with loss of vision in one eye.
And unfortunately for me, which is probably only 20% of the people that have it happen in the second eye, which was my right eye, and that is the worst of the two. I am now considered legally blind. I do have some vision, and I have approximately, they tell me 40% total vision between both eyes.
I remember back probably about three years ago, I was extremely depressed after the second eye had the optic nerve stroke, and I was in tears one evening and I kind of snapped out of it for a minute and started googling. There had to be help for people with my disease. And I googled and I googled and I took down phone numbers and I was my own advocate. And I found several agencies that I reached out to, the following day and spent the entire 24 hours on the phone getting assistance and help and having people come in and assess me for different types of help that they could provide. So, I did it. Took me a long time, took a lot of courage, but I did it. And if I can do it, anybody can do it.
I was fearful of walking outside, terribly fearful. Well, first of all, the fear of falling, that was a big one. And even walking with a cane. It was my friend, but it wasn't really a good friend. And people grabbing onto me was horrible. It was almost a violation in my mind, even though I know they meant well. But that was really difficult, and I had to learn how to teach them how not to grab onto me because that was another fear of falling.
One of the hardest things I had to do was, it took me one year to get into an Uber by myself. I was hyperventilating at times. And overcoming that fear was huge, and it took me quite some time to overcome it. It took me one year to go to my park district for a concert tour. To get into the bus with other people that were sighted. And I remember shaking, physically shaking the entire bus trip until we got to the theater.
Just pushing myself and being persistent and just, I got to do this. I got to do this. I can do this. The whole ride in the car in the Uber or the bus trip to the theater, I kept telling myself, I can do it. You can do it, you can do it. And that was it. It's almost like mind over matter.
In the past six months, I've had to give up my car. I've stopped driving. I had to quit my career for 54 years. I was a salon owner and a hairstylist, and all of that compiled on top of each other and it was a loss. Grieving and getting through it. And right now, I also have a therapist that I talk to once a week, and that helps. I strongly recommend that. Just having courage, the courage to keep moving.
There are days that I just want to sit in my chair and close my eyes and sleep, and then I have to pick myself up and start over and say, okay, you need to move. You need to get moving. You need to do something. You need to be creative. You need to talk to people and help people.
Helping others is who I have been all my life, all my career. The most important thing right now for me is I have a purpose. My purpose is helping others.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 67
Julia had always lived life on her own terms. So, when vision loss meant giving up her car keys, she used a white cane or her husband's arm to guide her steps, and kept going. Still, she noticed a change in how others treated her… until she made a decision she now calls, "the best thing I ever did."
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Episode 66
When the scenario Leighann had feared for years finally happened and glaucoma took much of her vision, it hit her hard. But her desire to keep living meant challenging herself—even when it scared her.
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Episode 65
Michael's vision loss led him down a long, uncomfortable road, discovering what he had to let go of and what he could still hold on to for his future. He continues to challenge himself to try new things.
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Episode 64
Tamisue's eyesight has diminished to the point where she feels stuck between two worlds—not enough vision to function as she once did, but not fully blind. She fears her world going completely dark. However, an addition to her life has made a tremendous difference for both her and her family.
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Episode 63
The loss Tom feels regarding his vision is complicated because it is ongoing. Acceptance has not come easy. Through the years, though, he has come to approach life a bit differently.
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Episode 62
Anne's declining vision had her feeling down and sorry for herself. But two gifts—one she gave and one she received—helped turn things around for her.
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Episode 61
Glaucoma advanced to the point where Ron found it too difficult to do the volunteer work he loved in retirement. Still, he found a way to pull himself out of the hole he felt he was in and continue to give back.
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Episode 60
Diabetic retinopathy has taken more and more of Charles's vision. To cope, he is learning new approaches to life AND leaning into areas of passion that don't rely on sight.
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Episode 59
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.
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Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
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Episode 56
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.