"It's psychological, physical, mental, and spiritual"

Hadley

It’s psychological, physical, mental and spiritual

Emma: I had been around maybe just a couple of blind people in my life. I didn't know the struggle that they had, I didn't know the challenges they had, but then when it hit me smacked in the face, it was totally different.

Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss shares what has helped them cope and adjust.

Emma: My name is Emma D. I am 77 years old. I live in Illinois.

My blindness occurred four years ago. It took me totally surprised.

I went to the doctor like in November. Found out I went blind in March. I had no time for preparation and that's what bothers me the most and I had to get past psychologically because I didn't have time to prepare myself and I am an avid reader.

I was a teacher and I love to travel. I mean travel with my thing, seeing things, writing down things. Sending memos out to people, sending cards out to people. That was my love and it kept me going for years. All of a sudden, I went blind.

I had been around maybe just a couple of blind people in my life.

I didn't know the struggle that they had, I didn't know the challenges they had, but then when it hit me smacked in the face, it was totally different.

It was something that it was hard for me to accept. I never really said why me, but I did say why.

I went to the clinic up in Minnesota, Mayo Clinic. They told me that my blindness was hereditary and it came from the maternalistic side, and I realized that, but it hadn’t hit anyone but my grandmother.

And right now, I'm in the honest with you, I want to see right now. I miss the sun. I haven't seen the sun in four years. I miss my reading. I couldn't even write my own name.
It's hard enough being blind and you feel sort of insecure and your self-esteem have sort of plummet.

Blindness is not only blindness. Blindness is psychologically, it's physically, it's mentally it's spiritually, it's anything you wanna say because when you're blind, you have to start all over.

The frustrating time that I run into is when I turn around sometimes and I get lost. You can get lost in your own home and then I have to feel something to bring my sight back. And I just sometimes have to just stop and scream. And then I settled down and I pray and I touch something. And I remember this is where I am. Emma, this is where you are settled down. This is where you are. This is something you're going through. This isn't the end of the road for you. You're going through it, so just deal with it with as much grace as you can and that's how I make it on a day-to-day basis. Knowing this is far as I'm concerned and that's how I make it.

I feel like I am alone a lot of times, even though there's people sitting next to me, I don't know whether there's a chair here, a stool here or whatever. So, this vast darkness is just here, and you do feel like you're alone, even though a lot of times you in a room of people, you feel like you're alone. But then sometimes you have people. I have a good peer group and I got people all around me. Oh, my ladies.
: We could laugh together. We can pray together, they give me their experiences and it feels like I am not alone.

People have been my foundation. When I didn't even know they were here for me, they were here. And just a telephone call helps you through the day. Just a kind word help you through the day. Just knowing someone thinking about you help you through the day. And that's how I deal with my blindness.

Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].