"I've lost...but I've gained"
For many, having to give up the car keys due to vision loss is traumatic. Deb felt it too. Then, during a call to arrange transportation for herself, a new door opened.
Hadley
I’ve lost…but I’ve gained
Deb Reed: I consider myself an introvert. And I never ever expected myself to be in this position.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Deb Reed: This is Deborah Reed. My friends call me Deb, and I'm from Bristol, Connecticut.
I cried on the way home from the doctor's office. I had driven myself there, so I had to get myself back. And I cried because I had a job that was almost like a ministry. I was a homemaker companion for disabled seniors. And so, my car was key to the work I did. I was taking them to appointments, taking them shopping, cleaning, cooking for them. And you become like family with people like that. And that was something I had to give up. I definitely wasn't in it for the money. But yeah, I was very sad to have to close that chapter.
My husband was still working at the time and I thought, how am I going to get anywhere? And so, I found out from the state that there's a paratransit service in our town because we have the public bus route. And when I called that number, the woman who answered, who helped with the certification, was actually, recently in a motorcycle accident with her husband, about a year before. And they were both injured pretty bad. They were broadsided by a truck. And he lost his sight was one of the results. And so, she had been through all the things that she knew I was going to have to go through, and it was just an amazing wealth of information that she was able to share with me. And then she told me about a National Federation of the Blind support group that met at the library. And so, I started to go to that.
But I will say that here we are over 10 years later, and I am now heading up this chapter meeting that I attended at the beginning of the journey. And I consider myself an introvert, and I never, ever expected to be in this position. And I've learned so much and grown so much just by belonging to this organization. So even though I have so many losses because of my vision deteriorating, I've gained a lot.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
-
Episode 68
Losing a fair amount of her vision brought with it a series of other losses for Dia. She began to feel depressed and very fearful. However, she gradually started giving herself pep talks and reconnecting with the things that bring her joy.
-
Episode 67
Julia had always lived life on her own terms. So, when vision loss meant giving up her car keys, she used a white cane or her husband's arm to guide her steps, and kept going. Still, she noticed a change in how others treated her… until she made a decision she now calls, "the best thing I ever did."
-
Episode 66
When the scenario Leighann had feared for years finally happened and glaucoma took much of her vision, it hit her hard. But her desire to keep living meant challenging herself—even when it scared her.
-
Episode 65
Michael's vision loss led him down a long, uncomfortable road, discovering what he had to let go of and what he could still hold on to for his future. He continues to challenge himself to try new things.
-
Episode 64
Tamisue's eyesight has diminished to the point where she feels stuck between two worlds—not enough vision to function as she once did, but not fully blind. She fears her world going completely dark. However, an addition to her life has made a tremendous difference for both her and her family.
-
Episode 63
The loss Tom feels regarding his vision is complicated because it is ongoing. Acceptance has not come easy. Through the years, though, he has come to approach life a bit differently.
-
Episode 62
Anne's declining vision had her feeling down and sorry for herself. But two gifts—one she gave and one she received—helped turn things around for her.
-
Episode 61
Glaucoma advanced to the point where Ron found it too difficult to do the volunteer work he loved in retirement. Still, he found a way to pull himself out of the hole he felt he was in and continue to give back.
-
Episode 60
Diabetic retinopathy has taken more and more of Charles's vision. To cope, he is learning new approaches to life AND leaning into areas of passion that don't rely on sight.
-
Episode 59
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.
-
Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
-
Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.