"It's finding people that do understand"
As Mary's vision worsened, the life she'd always known began slipping out of reach. She wasn't sure where to turn or what might help. But a chance meeting changed things for her in ways she now hopes to pass on.
Hadley
“It’s finding people that do understand”
Mary: I would be very emotional when I tried to do something, especially in public that I thought I could do and I couldn't. You've been doing these things all your life and suddenly you can't.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Mary: My name is Mary. I'm from Tinley Park, that's a town south of Chicago. I've had some macular degeneration since 2017, but it really got bad about a year ago. When I went to the retinologist, he just said, ‘oh, I'm terribly sorry. There's nothing we can do.’
I didn't know where to go from there, what I could do or it was beginning to interfere with reading. I hadn't been reading a lot, you know, less and less and now it really was real hard to read. Then it was starting to be kind of questionable whether driving was safe or not. And so, my world was cut back to really having a very hard time reading anything even with magnifiers and the loss of driving.
I happened to see a woman that I knew and directed me to a low vision support group in this area. I went there and they were talking about other things, about Lighthouse for the Blind, about Hadley, about different magnifying glasses that would help and other devices out there that would might help. So, from that point on, I am getting some direction.
I would be very emotional when I tried to do something, especially in public that I thought I could do and I couldn't. The tears would just come. And I found that was very common, that you've been doing these things all your life and suddenly you can't.
Someone described it as a death and you go through the stages of death. But it is a death, a death of what I could do and what I can do now.
It's just trying to adjust to a different way of life for the rest of my life. But it's hard after I'm 80, so after 80 years of independence now I have to become dependent in a lot of ways.
I find the most support from people in similar situations. And then you find that there are some people that have a lot more trouble, but yet they're coping with things. But I am trying to make myself a priority to find out what I can do. I think part of it is time, but part of it is finding people that do understand that even though you are walking around and you're looking like you're doing perfectly fine, it's not perfect and none of it's going to be the way it was.
My family doctor said something about who helped you find these things? And I'm thinking mostly it was me just asking everybody or anything that would help that I thought would help me. And I do feel like better. And maybe part of it probably is just time.
At first, I was a little angry with my retinologist. I told him about the support group. He said, oh yeah, we tell our people about that. I'm thinking you didn't tell me.
So yeah, I am really on feel like I'm on a want to be on a mission to help other people that were in my situation and never found real direction. You know, where to go and how to deal with things.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 100
As Patricia's vision changed, doing things on her own became harder, and at times she felt like no one really understood. Connecting with others going through many of the same things helped her feel less alone and more like herself again.
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Episode 99
Rebecca was used to handling things on her own, but vision loss brought anger, frustration, and challenges she hadn't expected. Over time, she found a different way forward, making room for the hard days, accepting help, and finding people who understood.
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Episode 98
As her vision changed, Martha worried her world might start getting smaller. But a trip reminded her that she didn't have to give up the things she loved. Turns out, asking for a little help can take you a long way.
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Episode 97
Vision loss doesn't always happen all at once. For Kara, it keeps changing, which means she's constantly figuring out what she can and can't do. Hear how she's learning to adjust, deal with the frustrations, and take each day as it comes.
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Episode 96
For Carolyn, connecting with people has always come naturally. When vision loss made it harder to recognize faces, she worried about missing those everyday connections. Hear how speaking up about her vision helped others understand what she needed.
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Episode 95
A close call on a walk changed the way Lance thinks about living with vision loss. It reminded him to stay open, keep learning, and keep moving forward.
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Episode 94
For Dottie, losing her vision meant giving up many things, and there was one farewell that hit especially hard. But after making a difficult choice to let go of something she loved, Dottie found a new perspective on what she had lost—and gained.
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Episode 93
Linda always imagined retirement would mean doing the volunteer work she loved, but after losing her eyesight, she thought that chapter of her life was over. Then one memorable hospital visit reminded her she still had exactly what people needed.
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Episode 91
When Susan began losing vision, she grew fearful about the future. But she found a source of hope and courage.
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Episode 90
Early in her journey with vision loss, Char was bitter and angry at the world. But one day, a heartfelt conversation helped her turn a corner and, as she put it, "look at vision loss through different eyes."
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Episode 89
The impact vision loss had on Todd's life was profound. Through cycles of anger and depression, he often took it out on those who cared most about him. Then he started channeling those emotions into a new activity, and that made all the difference for him and his family.
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Episode 88
When Pat was diagnosed with an inherited retinal disease, her doctor told her she wouldn't go completely blind, but her life would change forever. And while it's been a hard road, she's found some things along the way that help.
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