"It's something that carries me through the emotions when it's hard."
The impact vision loss had on Todd's life was profound. Through cycles of anger and depression, he often took it out on those who cared most about him. Then he started channeling those emotions into a new activity, and that made all the difference for him and his family.
Hadley
“It’s something that carries me through the emotions when it’s hard”
Todd: didn't really want to take it the truth that I was losing my vision and I kept denying it. And that just brought me lower.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Todd: Hello, my name is Todd Dugal. I am from Quincy, Illinois and I'm here today just to share my story.
I was a general manager and a partner of ownership running a restaurant and everything was going great. I was able to supply for my family and supply for my kids and just felt like everything was going great. And then I have a severe case of glaucoma and have totally lost vision in one of my eyes, no light or anything. And then the other one, I only have 5% of my optic nerve left. So now all I see is it's cloudy, I'm not able to drive, I'm not able to work. Which was really the hardest thing that I went through was with my vision loss journey, I came to the realization and felt unworthy. I felt useless. I went through a very hard time of anger and depression because of I felt like how am I going to supply for my family?
How am I going to be able to do the things I normally do? And it was difficult. I didn't really want to take it the truth that I was losing my vision and I kept denying it. And that just brought me lower.
One of the greatest things that I had help from was my family. And at that time I was very rude. I ashamedly say I treated them in the worst of ways when they loved me the most, I was turning my back on them. And there was times when I wanted to throw the towel in and say, I'm done. I'm worth more dead than I am alive, just to put it plain and transparent.
It was very hard for me to go through my personal emotions. And one of the things that I started doing was I started just journaling, using my journal on my phone that's audible. And I would just, whatever I was feeling that day, I would journal it, I'd put it down, and then later I could go back and I would listen to it and I'd dwell on it and think, where am I at?
And I've realized that I am still the same person.
And with that strength, I can overcome the emotions and know I am worthy of who I am. I can still function, I can still be a husband, I can still be a father, a grandpa. I can still do the things. One of the craziest things that I've been able to do and my kids laugh at me is it was one of my grandson's ninth birthday, and we went bowling and I was beating more than half of the people there because it's just, you get it in your mind, okay, these many steps, I got to do this, I had to do this. But we had fun, we had a blast. And I was grandpa, I was there, as my grandsons always say papa. So, it's something that will carry you through the emotions, when it's hard. I always think of it, it's like running uphill. But the thing is there's always a top.
There's always a plateau that you will get to and it levels out and you can just take some deep breaths. You can realize I made it through.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 100
As Patricia's vision changed, doing things on her own became harder, and at times she felt like no one really understood. Connecting with others going through many of the same things helped her feel less alone and more like herself again.
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Episode 99
Rebecca was used to handling things on her own, but vision loss brought anger, frustration, and challenges she hadn't expected. Over time, she found a different way forward, making room for the hard days, accepting help, and finding people who understood.
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Episode 98
As her vision changed, Martha worried her world might start getting smaller. But a trip reminded her that she didn't have to give up the things she loved. Turns out, asking for a little help can take you a long way.
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Episode 97
Vision loss doesn't always happen all at once. For Kara, it keeps changing, which means she's constantly figuring out what she can and can't do. Hear how she's learning to adjust, deal with the frustrations, and take each day as it comes.
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Episode 96
For Carolyn, connecting with people has always come naturally. When vision loss made it harder to recognize faces, she worried about missing those everyday connections. Hear how speaking up about her vision helped others understand what she needed.
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Episode 95
A close call on a walk changed the way Lance thinks about living with vision loss. It reminded him to stay open, keep learning, and keep moving forward.
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Episode 94
For Dottie, losing her vision meant giving up many things, and there was one farewell that hit especially hard. But after making a difficult choice to let go of something she loved, Dottie found a new perspective on what she had lost—and gained.
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Episode 93
Linda always imagined retirement would mean doing the volunteer work she loved, but after losing her eyesight, she thought that chapter of her life was over. Then one memorable hospital visit reminded her she still had exactly what people needed.
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Episode 92
As Mary's vision worsened, the life she'd always known began slipping out of reach. She wasn't sure where to turn or what might help. But a chance meeting changed things for her in ways she now hopes to pass on.
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Episode 91
When Susan began losing vision, she grew fearful about the future. But she found a source of hope and courage.
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Episode 90
Early in her journey with vision loss, Char was bitter and angry at the world. But one day, a heartfelt conversation helped her turn a corner and, as she put it, "look at vision loss through different eyes."
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Episode 88
When Pat was diagnosed with an inherited retinal disease, her doctor told her she wouldn't go completely blind, but her life would change forever. And while it's been a hard road, she's found some things along the way that help.
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