"There's no way around it, just a way through it"
Doug was filled with uncertainty after realizing that the vision he lost was unlikely to be restored. His anxiety grew as the silver bullet he hoped for never materialized. But he did find things that helped him manage and continue to live his life with purpose.
Hadley
“There’s no way around it, just a way through it”
Doug: I was truly going down the grief path. I was looking for the silver bullet. I was looking for something that would make this all go away. But there wasn't any silver bullet.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Doug: Hi, everybody. My name's Doug. I'm from Carmel, Indiana, which is a suburb of Indianapolis. So about two and a half years ago, I had what's called non-arthritic Anterior Ischemic Optic Neuritis in my right eye. So, my right eye started losing some sight and went to the ophthalmologist and got diagnosed. I mean there's nothing we can do.
And you're the result of a disruption of blood flow to your optic nerve and you got some damage there and you're going to have vision loss in that eye. And I did as a as it ran its course. But my left eye was still fine. And after some adjustment to depth perception, etc., I went on with my life as I always had.
Approximately two years later, in June of 2025, my left eye started down the same path. So now, instead of just having NAION as they call it now, I had subsequent bilateral NAION which is extremely rare from what I'm told. My vision loss journey really started just about six months ago. I was in a mental mess. It was really tough.
I, you know, I just was looking forward and trying to figure out how am I going to live my life. You know, my with just full of uncertainty, full of anxiety, depression. I didn't sleep very much, just kind of felt helpless, felt lack of purpose in life and all those things. I was truly going down the grief path.
And for me, that lasted about four months. And in that time, I was looking for the silver bullet. I was looking for something that was gonna make this all go away. And so, I did a lot of things that helped me. I ramped up my exercise regimen for sure, and that would take my mind off of my problems for a while.
I, you know, worked with a therapist a little bit and to get some help dealing with anxiety, depression, things work with my primary care doctor or to help with some sleep issues. But there wasn't any silver bullet. There were just things...as long as I was doing something to help keep my mind busy with something else that was good.
And if I was just sitting in the chair doing nothing, that was bad. And so there was one thing that I was told early on in my in that part of my journey. She’s actually an occupational therapist, who goes to our church and she told me, you're just proving that you're human. And now really stuck with me, and it forced me to think a lot deeper about what I'm going through at the time.
And, I knew that, well, this happens when you have a great life change or a great life loss, you know, your brain goes into this grief mode. And that's obviously, you what what's happening to me? And I have experienced that done, before in life, I've lived long enough to have some loss here and there.
But I knew that that's just what happens and what your brain does. It puts you through this tough love period and helps you to negotiate what you're going through. And I think prepares you to be able to survive and thrive much better in your new, life environment after you come out of your grief.
And so, I knew there was an end to it. And I knew that this is something that I'm not alone. Other people go through this too. And I just I knew there was an end and I knew there could be some silver linings in that end and some good things that come out of it. I just gotta plow through it step by step and move forward.
And I learned that, you know, there's no way around it. There's just a way through it, and there's only a way through it on your own two feet.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 61
Glaucoma advanced to the point where Ron found it too difficult to do the volunteer work he loved in retirement. Still, he found a way to pull himself out of the hole he felt he was in and continue to give back.
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Episode 60
Diabetic retinopathy has taken more and more of Charles's vision. To cope, he is learning new approaches to life AND leaning into areas of passion that don't rely on sight.
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Episode 59
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.
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Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
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Episode 56
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.
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Episode 55
Dave calls his experience with vision loss a slow torture. In the face of this, however, he has found a sense of inspiration in explorers, history, and an activity you wouldn't typically connect with vision loss, sightseeing.
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Episode 54
When Albert's vision decreased to the point that he could no longer read print anymore, he found it stressful. But he's found a new source of comfort that helps him quite a bit.
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Episode 53
Jayne can feel isolated living with her eye disease, spending much of her days forcing herself to focus on things that have become blurry. The stress can be overwhelming, causing her to shut down. But there's one area of life that now brings her more joy than ever before.
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Episode 52
When Jeffry lost his sight, he felt a loss of control, a loss of dignity. Then, he began his long road to empowerment, one small goal at a time.
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Episode 51
Marilyn went through bouts of anxiety and depression with her vision loss and still grieves the loss several years into her journey. She also decided to do something for herself which has helped tremendously.
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Episode 50
Learning to live with vision loss wasn't always easy for Pam. But with time, her bad days are fewer.