"It's not just happening to me"
As Patricia's vision changed, doing things on her own became harder, and at times she felt like no one really understood. Connecting with others going through many of the same things helped her feel less alone and more like herself again.
Hadley
“It’s not just happening to me”
Patricia: I couldn't recognize people's faces. That had always been a problem. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one. I'm in this world all by myself.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Patricia: I'm Patricia Gunter. I'm in Valencia, California. I have retinitis pigmentosa, newly diagnosed with cataracts. They've gotten very thick and out of control, so I'm looking at cataract surgery.
I was told as a child growing up, from 12 on up, that I was nearsighted. That's all I ever knew. I didn't know anything about being legally blind until I became an adult. And so here now I'm looking at cataract surgery and hoping for the best.
I couldn't recognize people's faces. That had always been a problem. Even my children, my responses, just their voices is what I would listen for, but I didn't know I couldn't see. Recently, I made a move back in November, and before I moved, I noticed someone knocked on my door, I opened the door, and I didn't see anyone. And I didn't think I had lost my vision at that time, but I think it was happening then. And just even now, I just have issues even visually seeing things in front of me.
It's really scary. And it's like I'm in a tunnel. I feel like I'm closed in like claustrophobic and I'm afraid to be alone in public, to travel, because I was independently traveling on buses and dollar ride, things like that.
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one. I'm in this world all by myself.
I think by calling Hadley being in a group with other people that are dealing with the same issues with the vision loss, just being around other people with like conditions helped me to get through my situation because hearing other people's stories, I know, "Oh, I'm not the only one." It's not just happening to me.
And know that I'm still a person in spite of my blindness and that I still have a life to live and just hearing other people's stories and how they're adjusting to the blindness and it's like, "Okay, come on now, it's okay. You still alive, you still can meet people that I can smile, I can sing, I can dance, I can do ... " Those things, I don't have to feel sad and alone anymore. I just feel very glad that I found out about the groups.
Just knowing that people care about you in spite of your blindness, that you're still a person, I heard that in the group and they have people that I talk to on the phone and they make me feel like I'm a person, that they need me, like I need them.
It just helped me.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 63
The loss Tom feels regarding his vision is complicated because it is ongoing. Acceptance has not come easy. Through the years, though, he has come to approach life a bit differently.
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Episode 62
Anne's declining vision had her feeling down and sorry for herself. But two gifts—one she gave and one she received—helped turn things around for her.
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Episode 61
Glaucoma advanced to the point where Ron found it too difficult to do the volunteer work he loved in retirement. Still, he found a way to pull himself out of the hole he felt he was in and continue to give back.
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Episode 60
Diabetic retinopathy has taken more and more of Charles's vision. To cope, he is learning new approaches to life AND leaning into areas of passion that don't rely on sight.
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Episode 59
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.
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Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
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Episode 56
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.
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Episode 55
Dave calls his experience with vision loss a slow torture. In the face of this, however, he has found a sense of inspiration in explorers, history, and an activity you wouldn't typically connect with vision loss, sightseeing.
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Episode 54
When Albert's vision decreased to the point that he could no longer read print anymore, he found it stressful. But he's found a new source of comfort that helps him quite a bit.
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Episode 53
Jayne can feel isolated living with her eye disease, spending much of her days forcing herself to focus on things that have become blurry. The stress can be overwhelming, causing her to shut down. But there's one area of life that now brings her more joy than ever before.
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Episode 52
When Jeffry lost his sight, he felt a loss of control, a loss of dignity. Then, he began his long road to empowerment, one small goal at a time.
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