"It's psychological, physical, mental, and spiritual"
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.
Hadley
It’s psychological, physical, mental and spiritual
Emma: I had been around maybe just a couple of blind people in my life. I didn't know the struggle that they had, I didn't know the challenges they had, but then when it hit me smacked in the face, it was totally different.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss shares what has helped them cope and adjust.
Emma: My name is Emma D. I am 77 years old. I live in Illinois.
My blindness occurred four years ago. It took me totally surprised.
I went to the doctor like in November. Found out I went blind in March. I had no time for preparation and that's what bothers me the most and I had to get past psychologically because I didn't have time to prepare myself and I am an avid reader.
I was a teacher and I love to travel. I mean travel with my thing, seeing things, writing down things. Sending memos out to people, sending cards out to people. That was my love and it kept me going for years. All of a sudden, I went blind.
I had been around maybe just a couple of blind people in my life.
I didn't know the struggle that they had, I didn't know the challenges they had, but then when it hit me smacked in the face, it was totally different.
It was something that it was hard for me to accept. I never really said why me, but I did say why.
I went to the clinic up in Minnesota, Mayo Clinic. They told me that my blindness was hereditary and it came from the maternalistic side, and I realized that, but it hadn’t hit anyone but my grandmother.
And right now, I'm in the honest with you, I want to see right now. I miss the sun. I haven't seen the sun in four years. I miss my reading. I couldn't even write my own name.
It's hard enough being blind and you feel sort of insecure and your self-esteem have sort of plummet.
Blindness is not only blindness. Blindness is psychologically, it's physically, it's mentally it's spiritually, it's anything you wanna say because when you're blind, you have to start all over.
The frustrating time that I run into is when I turn around sometimes and I get lost. You can get lost in your own home and then I have to feel something to bring my sight back. And I just sometimes have to just stop and scream. And then I settled down and I pray and I touch something. And I remember this is where I am. Emma, this is where you are settled down. This is where you are. This is something you're going through. This isn't the end of the road for you. You're going through it, so just deal with it with as much grace as you can and that's how I make it on a day-to-day basis. Knowing this is far as I'm concerned and that's how I make it.
I feel like I am alone a lot of times, even though there's people sitting next to me, I don't know whether there's a chair here, a stool here or whatever. So, this vast darkness is just here, and you do feel like you're alone, even though a lot of times you in a room of people, you feel like you're alone. But then sometimes you have people. I have a good peer group and I got people all around me. Oh, my ladies.
: We could laugh together. We can pray together, they give me their experiences and it feels like I am not alone.
People have been my foundation. When I didn't even know they were here for me, they were here. And just a telephone call helps you through the day. Just a kind word help you through the day. Just knowing someone thinking about you help you through the day. And that's how I deal with my blindness.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
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Episode 55
Dave calls his experience with vision loss a slow torture. In the face of this, however, he has found a sense of inspiration in explorers, history, and an activity you wouldn't typically connect with vision loss, sightseeing.
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Episode 54
When Albert's vision decreased to the point that he could no longer read print anymore, he found it stressful. But he's found a new source of comfort that helps him quite a bit.
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Episode 53
Jayne can feel isolated living with her eye disease, spending much of her days forcing herself to focus on things that have become blurry. The stress can be overwhelming, causing her to shut down. But there's one area of life that now brings her more joy than ever before.
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Episode 52
When Jeffry lost his sight, he felt a loss of control, a loss of dignity. Then, he began his long road to empowerment, one small goal at a time.
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Episode 51
Marilyn went through bouts of anxiety and depression with her vision loss and still grieves the loss several years into her journey. She also decided to do something for herself which has helped tremendously.
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Episode 50
Learning to live with vision loss wasn't always easy for Pam. But with time, her bad days are fewer.
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Episode 49
Jennifer didn't know what to do or who to go to for help as her vision was fading. Then, by chance, she found some help. She found some direction.
The book referenced in this episode is "Macular Degeneration: The Complete Guide to Saving and Maximizing Your Sight"
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Episode 48
When Carmel heard a Hadley podcast, it helped her understand what had been happening to her along with her vision loss—something she had nicknamed her "phantom vision."
Carmel mentions an episode of our sister podcast, Hadley Presents. Here's a link to that episode on Vision Loss and Charles Bonnet Syndrome.
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Episode 47
It was tough for Linda to give up driving and she was heartbroken when reading became difficult. She felt her world was shrinking. But then she asked for help.
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Episode 46
Ashia felt all alone in her vision loss. No one around her knew what she was going through. Then she found something that gave her hope.