"I was given a ticket to travel without embarrassment"
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.
Hadley
I was given a ticket to travel without embarrassment
Bruce: As I walked around my hometown, I found myself more and more embarrassed, apologetic to people. People just didn't understand about my problem because I was keeping it a secret.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Bruce Wyland: Hello, my name is Bruce Wyland and I live on Bainbridge Island, which is an island off of downtown Seattle. I have retinitis pigmentosa and I've watched my vision get narrower and narrower from the outside coming in.
And I've adjusted to it along the way, giving up various things sports, driving, etc. but it wasn't until I hit my 60s that my vision deterioration finally reached the center of my vision, and my tunnel vision became so narrow that I was, literally tripping over things, bumping into dogs and children, open doorways. And as I walked around my home town, I found myself more and more embarrassed, apologetic to people. People just didn't understand about my problem because I was keeping it a secret.
So the one thing I want to recommend to people is when you're ready, get cane training and embrace the use of a cane. I have to say, I hesitated and resisted for a long, long time until my wife finally convinced me that I had to use the cane when I walked about, both for safety and for maximizing social interactions.
And when I started using the cane, first of all, I stopped tripping over things and running into things. And second of all, it was a way to gently announce to people that I had a visual problem and suddenly people who were confused or angry were helpful. Rather than feeling embarrassed, as I was afraid I might, I felt like I had suddenly been given a ticket to travel around without embarrassment, without mishaps both safer and happier.
And the final thing I will say is I was a little afraid of the cane as a negative symbol. And I was worried that people might ridicule me or be less than supportive. And I will tell you, in the two years I've been using the cane, I have not had a single negative interaction with another person.
People are kind. They're understanding. They are welcoming, and it's been a real plus for me. So, that's my suggestion when the time is right. Embrace the cane. Thanks for listening. Bye bye.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 100
As Patricia's vision changed, doing things on her own became harder, and at times she felt like no one really understood. Connecting with others going through many of the same things helped her feel less alone and more like herself again.
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Episode 99
Rebecca was used to handling things on her own, but vision loss brought anger, frustration, and challenges she hadn't expected. Over time, she found a different way forward, making room for the hard days, accepting help, and finding people who understood.
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Episode 98
As her vision changed, Martha worried her world might start getting smaller. But a trip reminded her that she didn't have to give up the things she loved. Turns out, asking for a little help can take you a long way.
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Episode 97
Vision loss doesn't always happen all at once. For Kara, it keeps changing, which means she's constantly figuring out what she can and can't do. Hear how she's learning to adjust, deal with the frustrations, and take each day as it comes.
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Episode 96
For Carolyn, connecting with people has always come naturally. When vision loss made it harder to recognize faces, she worried about missing those everyday connections. Hear how speaking up about her vision helped others understand what she needed.
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Episode 95
A close call on a walk changed the way Lance thinks about living with vision loss. It reminded him to stay open, keep learning, and keep moving forward.
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Episode 94
For Dottie, losing her vision meant giving up many things, and there was one farewell that hit especially hard. But after making a difficult choice to let go of something she loved, Dottie found a new perspective on what she had lost—and gained.
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Episode 93
Linda always imagined retirement would mean doing the volunteer work she loved, but after losing her eyesight, she thought that chapter of her life was over. Then one memorable hospital visit reminded her she still had exactly what people needed.
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Episode 92
As Mary's vision worsened, the life she'd always known began slipping out of reach. She wasn't sure where to turn or what might help. But a chance meeting changed things for her in ways she now hopes to pass on.
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Episode 91
When Susan began losing vision, she grew fearful about the future. But she found a source of hope and courage.
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Episode 90
Early in her journey with vision loss, Char was bitter and angry at the world. But one day, a heartfelt conversation helped her turn a corner and, as she put it, "look at vision loss through different eyes."
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Episode 89
The impact vision loss had on Todd's life was profound. Through cycles of anger and depression, he often took it out on those who cared most about him. Then he started channeling those emotions into a new activity, and that made all the difference for him and his family.
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