"I was given a ticket to travel without embarrassment"
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.
Hadley
I was given a ticket to travel without embarrassment
Bruce: As I walked around my hometown, I found myself more and more embarrassed, apologetic to people. People just didn't understand about my problem because I was keeping it a secret.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Bruce Wyland: Hello, my name is Bruce Wyland and I live on Bainbridge Island, which is an island off of downtown Seattle. I have retinitis pigmentosa and I've watched my vision get narrower and narrower from the outside coming in.
And I've adjusted to it along the way, giving up various things sports, driving, etc. but it wasn't until I hit my 60s that my vision deterioration finally reached the center of my vision, and my tunnel vision became so narrow that I was, literally tripping over things, bumping into dogs and children, open doorways. And as I walked around my home town, I found myself more and more embarrassed, apologetic to people. People just didn't understand about my problem because I was keeping it a secret.
So the one thing I want to recommend to people is when you're ready, get cane training and embrace the use of a cane. I have to say, I hesitated and resisted for a long, long time until my wife finally convinced me that I had to use the cane when I walked about, both for safety and for maximizing social interactions.
And when I started using the cane, first of all, I stopped tripping over things and running into things. And second of all, it was a way to gently announce to people that I had a visual problem and suddenly people who were confused or angry were helpful. Rather than feeling embarrassed, as I was afraid I might, I felt like I had suddenly been given a ticket to travel around without embarrassment, without mishaps both safer and happier.
And the final thing I will say is I was a little afraid of the cane as a negative symbol. And I was worried that people might ridicule me or be less than supportive. And I will tell you, in the two years I've been using the cane, I have not had a single negative interaction with another person.
People are kind. They're understanding. They are welcoming, and it's been a real plus for me. So, that's my suggestion when the time is right. Embrace the cane. Thanks for listening. Bye bye.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
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Episode 56
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.
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Episode 55
Dave calls his experience with vision loss a slow torture. In the face of this, however, he has found a sense of inspiration in explorers, history, and an activity you wouldn't typically connect with vision loss, sightseeing.
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Episode 54
When Albert's vision decreased to the point that he could no longer read print anymore, he found it stressful. But he's found a new source of comfort that helps him quite a bit.
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Episode 53
Jayne can feel isolated living with her eye disease, spending much of her days forcing herself to focus on things that have become blurry. The stress can be overwhelming, causing her to shut down. But there's one area of life that now brings her more joy than ever before.
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Episode 52
When Jeffry lost his sight, he felt a loss of control, a loss of dignity. Then, he began his long road to empowerment, one small goal at a time.
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Episode 51
Marilyn went through bouts of anxiety and depression with her vision loss and still grieves the loss several years into her journey. She also decided to do something for herself which has helped tremendously.
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Episode 50
Learning to live with vision loss wasn't always easy for Pam. But with time, her bad days are fewer.
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Episode 49
Jennifer didn't know what to do or who to go to for help as her vision was fading. Then, by chance, she found some help. She found some direction.
The book referenced in this episode is "Macular Degeneration: The Complete Guide to Saving and Maximizing Your Sight"
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Episode 48
When Carmel heard a Hadley podcast, it helped her understand what had been happening to her along with her vision loss—something she had nicknamed her "phantom vision."
Carmel mentions an episode of our sister podcast, Hadley Presents. Here's a link to that episode on Vision Loss and Charles Bonnet Syndrome.
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Episode 47
It was tough for Linda to give up driving and she was heartbroken when reading became difficult. She felt her world was shrinking. But then she asked for help.