"It's something that carries me through the emotions when it's hard."
The impact vision loss had on Todd's life was profound. Through cycles of anger and depression, he often took it out on those who cared most about him. Then he started channeling those emotions into a new activity, and that made all the difference for him and his family.
Hadley
“It’s something that carries me through the emotions when it’s hard”
Todd: didn't really want to take it the truth that I was losing my vision and I kept denying it. And that just brought me lower.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Todd: Hello, my name is Todd Dugal. I am from Quincy, Illinois and I'm here today just to share my story.
I was a general manager and a partner of ownership running a restaurant and everything was going great. I was able to supply for my family and supply for my kids and just felt like everything was going great. And then I have a severe case of glaucoma and have totally lost vision in one of my eyes, no light or anything. And then the other one, I only have 5% of my optic nerve left. So now all I see is it's cloudy, I'm not able to drive, I'm not able to work. Which was really the hardest thing that I went through was with my vision loss journey, I came to the realization and felt unworthy. I felt useless. I went through a very hard time of anger and depression because of I felt like how am I going to supply for my family?
How am I going to be able to do the things I normally do? And it was difficult. I didn't really want to take it the truth that I was losing my vision and I kept denying it. And that just brought me lower.
One of the greatest things that I had help from was my family. And at that time I was very rude. I ashamedly say I treated them in the worst of ways when they loved me the most, I was turning my back on them. And there was times when I wanted to throw the towel in and say, I'm done. I'm worth more dead than I am alive, just to put it plain and transparent.
It was very hard for me to go through my personal emotions. And one of the things that I started doing was I started just journaling, using my journal on my phone that's audible. And I would just, whatever I was feeling that day, I would journal it, I'd put it down, and then later I could go back and I would listen to it and I'd dwell on it and think, where am I at?
And I've realized that I am still the same person.
And with that strength, I can overcome the emotions and know I am worthy of who I am. I can still function, I can still be a husband, I can still be a father, a grandpa. I can still do the things. One of the craziest things that I've been able to do and my kids laugh at me is it was one of my grandson's ninth birthday, and we went bowling and I was beating more than half of the people there because it's just, you get it in your mind, okay, these many steps, I got to do this, I had to do this. But we had fun, we had a blast. And I was grandpa, I was there, as my grandsons always say papa. So, it's something that will carry you through the emotions, when it's hard. I always think of it, it's like running uphill. But the thing is there's always a top.
There's always a plateau that you will get to and it levels out and you can just take some deep breaths. You can realize I made it through.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 40
Having to give up the car keys was traumatic for Eugenia. She worried about becoming isolated until she found a new way.
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Episode 39
This week, hear how rediscovering a favorite activity helped Celia find balance as she adjusts to vision loss.
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Episode 38
Denise can struggle with the slow but continuous loss of vision she's facing. But she's found a way to pick herself up on a bad day.
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Episode 37
Listen in as Vanessa shares what has helped keep her from feeling hopeless and defeated due to vision loss.
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Episode 36
Stacy shares with us how being honest about her vision loss with her friends and coworkers has made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 35
For many, having to give up the car keys due to vision loss is traumatic. Deb felt it too. Then, during a call to arrange transportation for herself, a new door opened.
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Episode 34
Listen in as Anne describes how a question posed to her shifted her perspective for living with vision loss.
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Episode 33
This week, William shares how learning to continue with his favorite hobby, even with vision loss, has been therapeutic—and uplifting. Here's the link to his website https://www.blindtruths.org/
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Episode 32
This week Angela shares how she struggled to get around due to vision loss, how she tried to hide it from others, and what helped her.
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Episode 31
This week we hear from Appreciate. She found that a Facebook group, The International Blind Cafe, gave her a source of comfort and encouragement.
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Episode 30
Marian's inner voice had her living in fear. Listen in as she shares how she redirected that voice to be more helpful for her.
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Episode 29
This week Dorrie shares how technology has made all the difference for her in living with vision loss.