"I lost my license and found acceptance"
Having to give up the car keys was traumatic for Eugenia. She worried about becoming isolated until she found a new way.
Hadley
I lost my License and found acceptance
Presented by Douglas Walker
Douglas: Hello, and welcome to the Insights and Sound Bites podcast, where people facing vision loss share insights about what has helped them cope and adjust.
Eugenia: What I realized, if I didn’t accept this help from other people, where does it leave me? It’s isolating.
Douglas: My name is Douglas Walker. You know, it’s common to feel really isolated when you give up the car keys. Today we’ll hear from Eugenia. Eugenia shares with us how learning to accept help from others has made all the difference.
Eugenia: Hi, this is Eugenia DeReu. I'm from the Buffalo, New York area. I'm 63. I'm legally blind. My moment that I'm talking about today is when I found out I lost my driver's license, which is three years ago, and I lost it because of my sight.
I've had my license since I was 17. And I was so excited to get it because it gives you a sense of freedom. You could jump in that car and go do anything. I could do anything anytime, anywhere I wanted. It was that freedom and when it was taken away, it was a big loss for me. And I'm used to being someone that does stuff for everybody. I grew up that way and my parents volunteered. They gave us this sense of community, family. I lost that and it's something I had to wrap around my head because I had to learn how to rely on other people. I was the one that always did that. But now I had to rely on family, friends.
I just felt guilty about it. What I realized if I didn't accept that help... I live in Buffalo. It's a very, very long winter. You can only do so much. So, it's isolating. And if I didn't accept this help from other people, where does it leave me? And I realized that if I accepted this help, maybe it could bring me back to a volunteering place, to a place where I can help people.
I'm slowly learning that I am getting out more for myself, which is a big part of this journey also. I am legally blind. I have to rely on people. I have to learn a different way of life, which I am. But maybe I can go volunteer at a food pantry. I can volunteer anywhere. There's something I can do. I know there is, and I can help other people.
And I think I realized that through my blindness and my family and friends, that I'm giving them that opportunity. I know that sounds odd, but it gives them the opportunity to help me, which I know it makes them feel good, and I had to accept that also. I just think the acceptance of help from your community is important. And I guess that's what I wanted to say. It's a big important to me because right now we are in the winter and I just started feeling isolated again. So, I have to start getting out there and really using those resources. And that's it. Thank you very much.
Douglas: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share, you can leave me a voicemail by calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can email me a recording to [email protected]. Again, my name is Douglas Walker. Take care and I’ll see you next time.
All Episodes
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Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
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Episode 56
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.
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Episode 55
Dave calls his experience with vision loss a slow torture. In the face of this, however, he has found a sense of inspiration in explorers, history, and an activity you wouldn't typically connect with vision loss, sightseeing.
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Episode 54
When Albert's vision decreased to the point that he could no longer read print anymore, he found it stressful. But he's found a new source of comfort that helps him quite a bit.
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Episode 53
Jayne can feel isolated living with her eye disease, spending much of her days forcing herself to focus on things that have become blurry. The stress can be overwhelming, causing her to shut down. But there's one area of life that now brings her more joy than ever before.
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Episode 52
When Jeffry lost his sight, he felt a loss of control, a loss of dignity. Then, he began his long road to empowerment, one small goal at a time.
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Episode 51
Marilyn went through bouts of anxiety and depression with her vision loss and still grieves the loss several years into her journey. She also decided to do something for herself which has helped tremendously.
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Episode 50
Learning to live with vision loss wasn't always easy for Pam. But with time, her bad days are fewer.
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Episode 49
Jennifer didn't know what to do or who to go to for help as her vision was fading. Then, by chance, she found some help. She found some direction.
The book referenced in this episode is "Macular Degeneration: The Complete Guide to Saving and Maximizing Your Sight"
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Episode 48
When Carmel heard a Hadley podcast, it helped her understand what had been happening to her along with her vision loss—something she had nicknamed her "phantom vision."
Carmel mentions an episode of our sister podcast, Hadley Presents. Here's a link to that episode on Vision Loss and Charles Bonnet Syndrome.
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Episode 47
It was tough for Linda to give up driving and she was heartbroken when reading became difficult. She felt her world was shrinking. But then she asked for help.