"Be careful what I tell myself"

Hadley

Be Careful What I Tell Myself

Presented by Douglas Walker

Douglas: Hello, and welcome to the Insights and Sound Bites podcast, where people facing vision loss share insights about what has helped them cope and adjust.

Marian McKee: And a little tiny voice said, I just don’t want to live this way.

Douglas: My name is Douglas Walker. Today we’ll hear from Marian. Marian will share with us just how important it is to listen to the right voice.

Marian McKee: Hello, my name is Marian McKee. I live in Kentucky. I have retinitis pigmentosa and I have been going blind over my lifetime. From a teenager to now. Total, totally blind and I just remember concerning myself about, oh, what can I see? How long am I going to see? I know I'm going blind. And on and on and on.

And I think I'll let go a lot of years worrying about going blind when I wasn't utilizing the best of my vision in the moment. And now that I look back, I think, oh my goodness, it would have been totally okay just to stay present in the moment because now I'm totally blind and I'm finding that staying present in the moment helps me to navigate the next moment and the next moment.

I was talking to a friend one day who's also totally blind, and we were just talking, and she was very vulnerable and a little tiny voice said, I just don't want to live this way.

And I can't, you know, do x, y, z, or if I can't do it the way I used to do it and heard that little, tiny voice in me and I cried. I didn't realize that, you know, all of these years, that was underneath my resistance to a lot of learning how to be blind. Grateful for Hadley and everyone there and everywhere that I've learned how to make lemonade with lemons.

I also changed that little voice into another voice that I want to hear now. And that is I’m okay, I'm going to be okay. I am not weak, I'm strong, I am not ignorant. I just haven't learned how to navigate efficiently the way I feel and most of all, I am brave and encouraged. And I'm not listening to that little, tiny voice that's not helping me.

I'm thinking that's just the day that I'm going to encourage lemonade and maybe a margarita. Can you make lemons with margaritas? Well, it doesn't really matter. Just that. Careful what I tell myself, because I'm always listening. And thank you for listening.

Douglas: Was there something that someone said to you or something that happened along the way that made all the difference in the world in helping you adjust to living with vision loss?

We‘d love to hear from you if you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail by calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected]. Again, my name is Douglas Walker. Take care and I’ll see you next time.