"It's okay to ask for help"
Listen to Carol's story as she shares how owning her changing vision gave her the drive to discover useful resources and realize that it's important—and okay—to ask for help when she needs it.
Hadley
Ask for Help
Presented by Douglas Walker
Douglas: Hello, and welcome to the Insights and Sound Bites podcast, where people facing vision loss share insights about what has helped them cope and adjust.
Voice 1: You cannot do this alone. You need people who are experiencing the same thing.
Voice 2: Probably the hardest part was just navigating through the emotions of it.
Douglas: My name is Douglas Walker. Sometimes it’s easiest to just ignore that your vision is slowly changing. Today we’ll hear from Carol. Carol will share with us how staying mindful that her vision was changing allowed her to keep moving forward.
Carol: Hi, I'm Carol Mackie. I'm calling from Maine. I live in Southern Maine, not too far outside of Portland. I am 80 years old as of May this year, which just blows my mind.
I was born with cataracts in both eyes. My mom had German measles when she was pregnant with me. I had surgery from a very young age, and my vision was corrected.
I drove for my job. I loved my job. I did outside sales, advertising sales, and drove to see clients. I realized about six months or so before I stopped driving, I realized that I was going to see clients, but I was going roundabout ways.
It dawned on me slowly that I wanted to avoid that traffic light, which was very busy, and I'd have to cross across traffic. And I realized that I was not going on that busy road, which was really the direct route, because it was a busy road and there was a lot of turning traffic and that kind of thing.
At the same time, I was also, when I was working, realized, in checking the correctness of ads, of advertising of content, I would blow up the ad, I could read it better on the copier.
And it was a slow process. It didn't all of a sudden, one day, I was doing it that way and one day, I wasn't. But it dawned on me and it began to show up in other ways.
I guess what I would want to share with others is that awareness. It's to accept when we see that happening and accept the fact that, "You know what? My vision's getting worse."
It's an ongoing process because that same awareness I have to bring to daily. My sight is slowly getting worse, and I have to be very aware of that. And having had that happen before, it makes me more tuned into it, into what is probably happening every day.
Of course, I had been in touch with and talked to my eye doctor... And unfortunately, oftentimes eye doctors, ophthalmologists, optometrists, are out of the loop as far as what's available.
And I only have the gift of hindsight now, but after I stopped driving, within a very short time, I had been in touch with the state for the division for the blind. And got some rehab, was in touch with what's here, it's called the Iris Network, and went for rehabilitation through the blind network.
And that really was an eye-opener. I got some mobility training with a cane. I never thought that I was going to be able to do anything. I'm an avid reader. I thought, "Oh, I'm not going to be able to read anymore!" Well, there's audiobooks, there's talking books.
But I really thought that my world was ending and that was it. That was the end of it. But it isn't. I'm not the first person that had to give up my driving.
The biggest thing I would say, you don't have to do it alone. You do not have to do it alone. Reach out, make a phone call, talk to someone. And that's hard to do, to acknowledge that, "I need help. I need help. I need a ride. I need someone to pick up something." It's hard to do, but that's the only way it's going to get done. That's the only way you can live.
Douglas: Was there something that someone said to you or something that happened along the way that made all the difference in the world in helping you adjust to living with vision loss?
We‘d love to hear from you if you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail by calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected]. Again, my name is Douglas Walker. Take care and I’ll see you next time.
All Episodes
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Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
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Episode 56
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.
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Episode 55
Dave calls his experience with vision loss a slow torture. In the face of this, however, he has found a sense of inspiration in explorers, history, and an activity you wouldn't typically connect with vision loss, sightseeing.
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Episode 54
When Albert's vision decreased to the point that he could no longer read print anymore, he found it stressful. But he's found a new source of comfort that helps him quite a bit.
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Episode 53
Jayne can feel isolated living with her eye disease, spending much of her days forcing herself to focus on things that have become blurry. The stress can be overwhelming, causing her to shut down. But there's one area of life that now brings her more joy than ever before.
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Episode 52
When Jeffry lost his sight, he felt a loss of control, a loss of dignity. Then, he began his long road to empowerment, one small goal at a time.
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Episode 51
Marilyn went through bouts of anxiety and depression with her vision loss and still grieves the loss several years into her journey. She also decided to do something for herself which has helped tremendously.
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Episode 50
Learning to live with vision loss wasn't always easy for Pam. But with time, her bad days are fewer.
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Episode 49
Jennifer didn't know what to do or who to go to for help as her vision was fading. Then, by chance, she found some help. She found some direction.
The book referenced in this episode is "Macular Degeneration: The Complete Guide to Saving and Maximizing Your Sight"
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Episode 48
When Carmel heard a Hadley podcast, it helped her understand what had been happening to her along with her vision loss—something she had nicknamed her "phantom vision."
Carmel mentions an episode of our sister podcast, Hadley Presents. Here's a link to that episode on Vision Loss and Charles Bonnet Syndrome.
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Episode 47
It was tough for Linda to give up driving and she was heartbroken when reading became difficult. She felt her world was shrinking. But then she asked for help.
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Episode 46
Ashia felt all alone in her vision loss. No one around her knew what she was going through. Then she found something that gave her hope.