"It's okay to ask for help"
Listen to Carol's story as she shares how owning her changing vision gave her the drive to discover useful resources and realize that it's important—and okay—to ask for help when she needs it.
Hadley
It’s okay to ask for help
Carol: It's to accept when we see that happening and accept the fact that, "You know what? My vision's getting worse." I really thought that my world was ending and that was it. That was the end of it. But it isn't. I'm not the first person that had to give up my driving.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Carol: Hi, I'm Carol Mackie. I'm calling from Maine. I live in Southern Maine, not too far outside of Portland. I am 80 years old as of May this year, which just blows my mind.
I was born with cataracts in both eyes. My mom had German measles when she was pregnant with me. I had surgery from a very young age, and my vision was corrected.
I drove for my job. I loved my job. I did outside sales, advertising sales, and drove to see clients. I realized about six months or so before I stopped driving, I realized that I was going to see clients, but I was going roundabout ways.
It dawned on me slowly that I wanted to avoid that traffic light, which was very busy, and I'd have to cross across traffic. And I realized that I was not going on that busy road, which was really the direct route, because it was a busy road and there was a lot of turning traffic and that kind of thing.
At the same time, I was also, when I was working, realized, in checking the correctness of ads, of advertising of content, I would blow up the ad, I could read it better on the copier.
And it was a slow process. It didn't all of a sudden, one day, I was doing it that way and one day, I wasn't. But it dawned on me and it began to show up in other ways.
I guess what I would want to share with others is that awareness. It's to accept when we see that happening and accept the fact that, "You know what? My vision's getting worse."
It's an ongoing process because that same awareness I have to bring to daily. My sight is slowly getting worse, and I have to be very aware of that. And having had that happen before, it makes me more tuned into it, into what is probably happening every day.
Of course, I had been in touch with and talked to my eye doctor... And unfortunately, oftentimes eye doctors, ophthalmologists, optometrists, are out of the loop as far as what's available.
And I only have the gift of hindsight now, but after I stopped driving, within a very short time, I had been in touch with the state for the division for the blind. And got some rehab, was in touch with what's here, it's called the Iris Network, and went for rehabilitation through the blind network.
And that really was an eye-opener. I got some mobility training with a cane. I never thought that I was going to be able to do anything. I'm an avid reader. I thought, "Oh, I'm not going to be able to read anymore!" Well, there's audiobooks, there's talking books.
But I really thought that my world was ending and that was it. That was the end of it. But it isn't. I'm not the first person that had to give up my driving.
The biggest thing I would say, you don't have to do it alone. You do not have to do it alone. Reach out, make a phone call, talk to someone. And that's hard to do, to acknowledge that, "I need help. I need help. I need a ride. I need someone to pick up something." It's hard to do, but that's the only way it's going to get done. That's the only way you can live.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 99
Rebecca was used to handling things on her own, but vision loss brought anger, frustration, and challenges she hadn't expected. Over time, she found a different way forward, making room for the hard days, accepting help, and finding people who understood.
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Episode 98
As her vision changed, Martha worried her world might start getting smaller. But a trip reminded her that she didn't have to give up the things she loved. Turns out, asking for a little help can take you a long way.
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Episode 97
Vision loss doesn't always happen all at once. For Kara, it keeps changing, which means she's constantly figuring out what she can and can't do. Hear how she's learning to adjust, deal with the frustrations, and take each day as it comes.
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Episode 96
For Carolyn, connecting with people has always come naturally. When vision loss made it harder to recognize faces, she worried about missing those everyday connections. Hear how speaking up about her vision helped others understand what she needed.
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Episode 95
A close call on a walk changed the way Lance thinks about living with vision loss. It reminded him to stay open, keep learning, and keep moving forward.
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Episode 94
For Dottie, losing her vision meant giving up many things, and there was one farewell that hit especially hard. But after making a difficult choice to let go of something she loved, Dottie found a new perspective on what she had lost—and gained.
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Episode 93
Linda always imagined retirement would mean doing the volunteer work she loved, but after losing her eyesight, she thought that chapter of her life was over. Then one memorable hospital visit reminded her she still had exactly what people needed.
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Episode 92
As Mary's vision worsened, the life she'd always known began slipping out of reach. She wasn't sure where to turn or what might help. But a chance meeting changed things for her in ways she now hopes to pass on.
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Episode 91
When Susan began losing vision, she grew fearful about the future. But she found a source of hope and courage.
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Episode 90
Early in her journey with vision loss, Char was bitter and angry at the world. But one day, a heartfelt conversation helped her turn a corner and, as she put it, "look at vision loss through different eyes."
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Episode 89
The impact vision loss had on Todd's life was profound. Through cycles of anger and depression, he often took it out on those who cared most about him. Then he started channeling those emotions into a new activity, and that made all the difference for him and his family.
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Episode 88
When Pat was diagnosed with an inherited retinal disease, her doctor told her she wouldn't go completely blind, but her life would change forever. And while it's been a hard road, she's found some things along the way that help.
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