"It's not my whole life"
Listen in as Alice shares a boyfriend's advice from many years ago. Words that give her hope, even today.
Hadley
It’s not my whole life
Alice: I wallowed in self-pity and I just kept repeating the words, Why me? Why me? Why did this happen to me?
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Alice: Hello. My name's Alice I'm from Myanmar, formerly known as Burma. I wasn’t born as a blind person, but I lost my eyesight due to glaucoma when I was a teenager. So, for about four or five years after my vision loss, I was spiraling into two extremes self-pity and denial.
From time to time, I just hid in my own shell and I kept myself away from other people. I wallowed in self-pity and I just kept repeating the words, Why me? Why me? Why did this happen to me?
But sometimes I fell into the trap of denial. I denied the fact that I can no longer see. I tried too hard in everything to act like a sighted person. And I was too proud to ask for help from other people. So, you may guess what happened to me? I just ended up in misery.
But a miracle happened one day when I was at university. My then boyfriend said, Alice like it or not, blindness is a part of your life. But you must also understand that it's not your whole life.
It was really an aha moment for me. Like it or not, I must accept that blindness is a part of my life. I cannot remove it from my life. But it's not my whole life or it's not the end of the world.
I still have many other senses, and I still can do many other things. Maybe in different ways that worked. Blindness is a part of your life, not your whole life.
So, unfortunately, I broke up with that boyfriend, but his words still has a special place in my heart. Blindness is a part of your life, not your whole life.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 71
Learning he would never see again was heartbreaking for Shannon. Embracing what challenged him, Shannon discovered strength in the unfamiliar.
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Episode 70
The week Jessica was diagnosed with an eye disease that would progressively impair her vision, she also found out she had cancer. A few things have helped her continue to feel strong and less isolated.
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Episode 69
Jack's vision has been declining for years. The hardest part for him is that it just keeps changing, so he needs to keep adapting. A routine Jack's wife put in place for the couple has helped him cope and adjust.
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Episode 68
Losing a fair amount of her vision brought with it a series of other losses for Dia. She began to feel depressed and very fearful. However, she gradually started giving herself pep talks and reconnecting with the things that bring her joy.
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Episode 67
Julia had always lived life on her own terms. So, when vision loss meant giving up her car keys, she used a white cane or her husband's arm to guide her steps, and kept going. Still, she noticed a change in how others treated her… until she made a decision she now calls, "the best thing I ever did."
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Episode 66
When the scenario Leighann had feared for years finally happened and glaucoma took much of her vision, it hit her hard. But her desire to keep living meant challenging herself—even when it scared her.
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Episode 65
Michael's vision loss led him down a long, uncomfortable road, discovering what he had to let go of and what he could still hold on to for his future. He continues to challenge himself to try new things.
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Episode 64
Tamisue's eyesight has diminished to the point where she feels stuck between two worlds—not enough vision to function as she once did, but not fully blind. She fears her world going completely dark. However, an addition to her life has made a tremendous difference for both her and her family.
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Episode 63
The loss Tom feels regarding his vision is complicated because it is ongoing. Acceptance has not come easy. Through the years, though, he has come to approach life a bit differently.
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Episode 62
Anne's declining vision had her feeling down and sorry for herself. But two gifts—one she gave and one she received—helped turn things around for her.
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Episode 61
Glaucoma advanced to the point where Ron found it too difficult to do the volunteer work he loved in retirement. Still, he found a way to pull himself out of the hole he felt he was in and continue to give back.
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Episode 60
Diabetic retinopathy has taken more and more of Charles's vision. To cope, he is learning new approaches to life AND leaning into areas of passion that don't rely on sight.