"This can be a lonely business"
As Kenneth lost most of his sight to glaucoma, he was feeling increasingly isolated and alone. Then he made a commitment, forcing himself to find ways to stay connected to the rest of the world.
Hadley
“This can be a lonely business”
Kenneth: I was very disappointed with myself if you want to know the truth. I recognize that glaucoma is not a disease that you can identify very easily. It sneaks up on you and you really don't know what's happening. And that's what happened to me.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Kenneth: I'm Ken Crooks and I'm in Atlanta, Georgia. I’m at 93 and holding.
I was a social work administrator. I worked for the National Urban League for about 30 years.
I was detected with glaucoma back in 2012, I guess it was. I had several operations done. My left eye is completely gone. My right eye, all I see is shadows. I can tell where the light bulb is, and that's about the best I can come up with. Can't see much else.
I was very disappointed with myself if you want to know the truth. I recognize that glaucoma is not a disease that you can identify very easily. It sneaks up on you and you really don't know what's happening. And that's what happened to me. I took a couple of months off from my doctors who were giving me eye drops to take, and I just kind of did not want to continue this experience. And so, I took time off, a whole summer back in 2012, two or three months.
And then of course I went back to the doctor when I realized that I couldn't see very well. And he kind of tongue lashed me a little bit. "We got to keep this thing going. We cannot take vacations from this experience. You've got to hang in and continue to put the eye drops in and obey the rules and regs," which is what I finally did. Those are the early days. Now that I've gotten myself a little bit more organized and my mental health in the right direction, then I think I can move on from wherever I am, which is very, very little sight in my right eye. Getting pretty well done.
I would start out by saying that this can be a lonely business if you let it. And my first commitment to myself was to find using my telephone or other technologies to maintain a link with the rest of the world. If you end up not doing that, then you're losing out, number one on time because time does not stop. And number two, there are so many, many people, so many, many things, so many organizations and so many practical things that you need to maintain a link with so you're not by yourself. It doesn't work.
It's also a challenge because you are tending not to want to extend, not to want to reach out, not to want to be a part of the bigger world, but you've got to force yourself to say, "Hey listen, this is not something that's going to go away. It's here and I'm going to wrap my arms around it and I'm going to make it work for me. Period. End of discussion. Now dial the phone."
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 70
The week Jessica was diagnosed with an eye disease that would progressively impair her vision, she also found out she had cancer. A few things have helped her continue to feel strong and less isolated.
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Episode 69
Jack's vision has been declining for years. The hardest part for him is that it just keeps changing, so he needs to keep adapting. A routine Jack's wife put in place for the couple has helped him cope and adjust.
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Episode 68
Losing a fair amount of her vision brought with it a series of other losses for Dia. She began to feel depressed and very fearful. However, she gradually started giving herself pep talks and reconnecting with the things that bring her joy.
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Episode 67
Julia had always lived life on her own terms. So, when vision loss meant giving up her car keys, she used a white cane or her husband's arm to guide her steps, and kept going. Still, she noticed a change in how others treated her… until she made a decision she now calls, "the best thing I ever did."
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Episode 66
When the scenario Leighann had feared for years finally happened and glaucoma took much of her vision, it hit her hard. But her desire to keep living meant challenging herself—even when it scared her.
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Episode 65
Michael's vision loss led him down a long, uncomfortable road, discovering what he had to let go of and what he could still hold on to for his future. He continues to challenge himself to try new things.
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Episode 64
Tamisue's eyesight has diminished to the point where she feels stuck between two worlds—not enough vision to function as she once did, but not fully blind. She fears her world going completely dark. However, an addition to her life has made a tremendous difference for both her and her family.
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Episode 63
The loss Tom feels regarding his vision is complicated because it is ongoing. Acceptance has not come easy. Through the years, though, he has come to approach life a bit differently.
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Episode 62
Anne's declining vision had her feeling down and sorry for herself. But two gifts—one she gave and one she received—helped turn things around for her.
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Episode 61
Glaucoma advanced to the point where Ron found it too difficult to do the volunteer work he loved in retirement. Still, he found a way to pull himself out of the hole he felt he was in and continue to give back.
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Episode 60
Diabetic retinopathy has taken more and more of Charles's vision. To cope, he is learning new approaches to life AND leaning into areas of passion that don't rely on sight.
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Episode 59
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.