"The hardest thing was adjusting to the loss"

Hadley

The hardest thing was adjusting to the loss

Tom: The biggest and, stumbling block was always kind of identifying, as a blind person, as someone who was different than how I started out.

Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.

Tom: This is Tom Large in Baltimore, Maryland. And I was in my email this morning and got, an email from Hadley. And listened to, some of what's already, recorded there and decided, as an old guy who's, dealt with my, vision loss for decades now, maybe I should contribute something.

So, that was where I'm starting from today. And for me, you know, the hardest thing was always, adjusting to the to the loss. I started out life as a sighted, fully sighted person. I have Stargardts disease. So, my vision went down rather quickly.

But I think, the biggest and, stumbling block was always kind of identifying as, as a blind person, as someone who was different than how I started out. If you're if you have normal vision, full vision, and then you lose your sight, gradually or suddenly, but particularly gradually, there's this ongoing, complicated grieving process with decline and function.

I still remember the tragedy that it was for me not being able to drive.

Got to the driver's license stage, and I was different. And beginning to accept that difference took really accepting and starting to feel and go through my grief. And any of you who had loss over the years know how this goes. I don't think, completely finished you we keep on working on our acceptance of loss.

As you have those feelings and let go of being, so invested in being sighted. Then you find that I found that there was some energy to freed up, to learn new things, and to start to accept, all the, the great tools that are now available for, you know, blind people.

So, the first big win for me was a white cane. Walking around with a white cane, using the cane. Being identified as a blind guy. And then learning some braille. Just to. Not much, but a little to be able to, label things.

And then when you can, to ask for help, at least for many of us men, can take some doing but, that's another big step, because there's lots of help out there, like Hadley, which I discovered, only quite recently. And I'm, almost 80, so, you know, I'm, I'm slow on the trigger here, so thanks.

Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].