"I didn't have a choice"
Listen in as Tim recalls a conversation with a store clerk and how it helped him adjust to life with vision loss.
Hadley
I didn’t have a choice
Tim: Those first couple of years going from being the go-to guy in my family were taken away from me, I learned how to cope. I learned how to adjust. I learned how to ask for help. And that’s been huge.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Tim Shelton: Hello, y'all. My name is Tim Shelton. I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa about seven years ago, and the aftercare of the retina specialist that I went to was pitiful. When they called me and told me my diagnosis, they said, You have retinitis pigmentosa. I said, “what does that mean? I'm a carpenter and a granite fabricator. Please put it in those terms.”
And they said “you should Google it.” Then went on a two year journey of self-pity and looking for answers in the bottom of a vodka bottle and getting all death wishy and everything.
But then all of a sudden, I recalled a situation where when I went, I could still build houses. I would stop at this gas station every morning. It was a great place to get a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise. And there was a young man working behind the counter. Turned out to be a good friend of mine years later who had been badly burned as a child. He had one thumb on one hand and a couple of nubs on the other hand, and I once remarked, I could not do what you do.
And he got rather indignant about it. And said, “Yes, you could.” And I said, “No, I couldn't.” And he got angrier. He said, “Yes, you could.” And I said, “No, I couldn't.” And then he said, “Yes, you could. And you want to know why?” And of course, I asked why. He said, “Because you don't have a choice.”
So, although those first couple of years going from being the go-to guy in my family and being the go to guy in every company I ever worked for were taken away from me.
I learned how to cope. I learned how to adjust. I learned how to ask for help. And that's been huge. And it was all a result of what that friend of mine said to me that day in the Ozark Hills in north central Arkansas. “You have to.”
And so here I am seven years later. And life is good, ya’ll. Life is good.
Hang in there, yall. You'll get there. All right. I love each and every one of you. And there ain’t a dang thing you can do about it.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 99
Rebecca was used to handling things on her own, but vision loss brought anger, frustration, and challenges she hadn't expected. Over time, she found a different way forward, making room for the hard days, accepting help, and finding people who understood.
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Episode 98
As her vision changed, Martha worried her world might start getting smaller. But a trip reminded her that she didn't have to give up the things she loved. Turns out, asking for a little help can take you a long way.
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Episode 97
Vision loss doesn't always happen all at once. For Kara, it keeps changing, which means she's constantly figuring out what she can and can't do. Hear how she's learning to adjust, deal with the frustrations, and take each day as it comes.
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Episode 96
For Carolyn, connecting with people has always come naturally. When vision loss made it harder to recognize faces, she worried about missing those everyday connections. Hear how speaking up about her vision helped others understand what she needed.
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Episode 95
A close call on a walk changed the way Lance thinks about living with vision loss. It reminded him to stay open, keep learning, and keep moving forward.
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Episode 94
For Dottie, losing her vision meant giving up many things, and there was one farewell that hit especially hard. But after making a difficult choice to let go of something she loved, Dottie found a new perspective on what she had lost—and gained.
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Episode 93
Linda always imagined retirement would mean doing the volunteer work she loved, but after losing her eyesight, she thought that chapter of her life was over. Then one memorable hospital visit reminded her she still had exactly what people needed.
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Episode 92
As Mary's vision worsened, the life she'd always known began slipping out of reach. She wasn't sure where to turn or what might help. But a chance meeting changed things for her in ways she now hopes to pass on.
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Episode 91
When Susan began losing vision, she grew fearful about the future. But she found a source of hope and courage.
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Episode 90
Early in her journey with vision loss, Char was bitter and angry at the world. But one day, a heartfelt conversation helped her turn a corner and, as she put it, "look at vision loss through different eyes."
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Episode 89
The impact vision loss had on Todd's life was profound. Through cycles of anger and depression, he often took it out on those who cared most about him. Then he started channeling those emotions into a new activity, and that made all the difference for him and his family.
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Episode 88
When Pat was diagnosed with an inherited retinal disease, her doctor told her she wouldn't go completely blind, but her life would change forever. And while it's been a hard road, she's found some things along the way that help.
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