"I didn't have a choice"
Listen in as Tim recalls a conversation with a store clerk and how it helped him adjust to life with vision loss.
Hadley
I Didn’t Have a Choice
Presented by Douglas Walker
Douglas: Hello, and welcome to the Insights and Sound Bites podcast, where people facing vision loss share insights about what has helped them cope and adjust.
Voice 1: You cannot do this alone. You need people who are experiencing the same thing.
Voice 2: Probably the hardest part was just navigating through the emotions of it.
Douglas: My name is Douglas Walker. Today we’ll hear from Tim. And how listening to a friend’s advice helped to changed his entire outlook.
Tim Shelton: Hello, y'all. My name is Tim Shelton. I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa about seven years ago, and the aftercare of the retina specialist that I went to was pitiful. When they called me and told me my diagnosis, they said, You have retinitis pigmentosa. I said, “what does that mean? I'm a carpenter and a granite fabricator. Please put it in those terms.”
And they said “you should Google it.” Then went on a two year journey of self-pity and looking for answers in the bottom of a vodka bottle and getting all death wishy and everything.
But then all of a sudden, I recalled a situation where when I went, I could still build houses. I would stop at this gas station every morning. It was a great place to get a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise. And there was a young man working behind the counter. Turned out to be a good friend of mine years later who had been badly burned as a child. He had one thumb on one hand and a couple of nubs on the other hand, and I once remarked, I could not do what you do.
And he got rather indignant about it. And said, “Yes, you could.” And I said, “No, I couldn't.” And he got angrier. He said, “Yes, you could.” And I said, “No, I couldn't.” And then he said, “Yes, you could. And you want to know why?” And of course, I asked why. He said, “Because you don't have a choice.”
So, although those first couple of years going from being the go-to guy in my family and being the go to guy in every company I ever worked for were taken away from me.
I learned how to cope. I learned how to adjust. I learned how to ask for help. And that's been huge. And it was all a result of what that friend of mine said to me that day in the Ozark Hills in north central Arkansas. “You have to.”
And so here I am seven years later. And life is good, ya’ll. Life is good.
Hang in there, yall. You'll get there. All right. I love each and every one of you. And there ain’t a dang thing you can do about it.
Douglas: Was there something that someone said to you or something that happened along the way that made all the difference in the world in helping you adjust to living with vision loss?
We‘d love to hear from you if you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail by calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected]. Again, my name is Douglas Walker. Take care and I’ll see you next time.
All Episodes
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Episode 53
Jayne can feel isolated living with her eye disease, spending much of her days forcing herself to focus on things that have become blurry. The stress can be overwhelming, causing her to shut down. But there's one area of life that now brings her more joy than ever before.
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Episode 52
When Jeffry lost his sight, he felt a loss of control, a loss of dignity. Then, he began his long road to empowerment, one small goal at a time.
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Episode 51
Marilyn went through bouts of anxiety and depression with her vision loss and still grieves the loss several years into her journey. She also decided to do something for herself which has helped tremendously.
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Episode 50
Learning to live with vision loss wasn't always easy for Pam. But with time, her bad days are fewer.
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Episode 49
Jennifer didn't know what to do or who to go to for help as her vision was fading. Then, by chance, she found some help. She found some direction.
The book referenced in this episode is "Macular Degeneration: The Complete Guide to Saving and Maximizing Your Sight"
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Episode 48
When Carmel heard a Hadley podcast, it helped her understand what had been happening to her along with her vision loss—something she had nicknamed her "phantom vision."
Carmel mentions an episode of our sister podcast, Hadley Presents. Here's a link to that episode on Vision Loss and Charles Bonnet Syndrome.
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Episode 47
It was tough for Linda to give up driving and she was heartbroken when reading became difficult. She felt her world was shrinking. But then she asked for help.
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Episode 46
Ashia felt all alone in her vision loss. No one around her knew what she was going through. Then she found something that gave her hope.
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Episode 45
Dennis found that many aspects of life with vision loss can be a struggle. Then he found something that turned that around.
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Episode 44
Judy has lived with progressive vision loss for many years. She's found a way that helps her cope and adjust.
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Episode 43
For years Bill hid his vision loss from others. He was self-conscious about it. Then, he decided to open up.
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Episode 42
For Cynthia, every story shared helps her on her own journey with vision loss.
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Episode 41
Living with low vision meant Karen was constantly explaining to others what she can and can't see. Then she found a tool that has made a big difference.
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Episode 40
Having to give up the car keys was traumatic for Eugenia. She worried about becoming isolated until she found a new way.
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Episode 39
This week, hear how rediscovering a favorite activity helped Celia find balance as she adjusts to vision loss.
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Episode 38
Denise can struggle with the slow but continuous loss of vision she's facing. But she's found a way to pick herself up on a bad day.
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Episode 37
Listen in as Vanessa shares what has helped keep her from feeling hopeless and defeated due to vision loss.
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Episode 36
Stacy shares with us how being honest about her vision loss with her friends and coworkers has made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 35
For many, having to give up the car keys due to vision loss is traumatic. Deb felt it too. Then, during a call to arrange transportation for herself, a new door opened.
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Episode 34
Listen in as Anne describes how a question posed to her shifted her perspective for living with vision loss.
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Episode 33
This week, William shares how learning to continue with his favorite hobby, even with vision loss, has been therapeutic—and uplifting. Here's the link to his website https://www.blindtruths.org/
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Episode 32
This week Angela shares how she struggled to get around due to vision loss, how she tried to hide it from others, and what helped her.
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Episode 31
This week we hear from Appreciate. She found that a Facebook group, The International Blind Cafe, gave her a source of comfort and encouragement.
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Episode 30
Marian's inner voice had her living in fear. Listen in as she shares how she redirected that voice to be more helpful for her.
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Episode 29
This week Dorrie shares how technology has made all the difference for her in living with vision loss.
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Episode 28
Today we hear from Ed who shares how the source of hope for him has changed with time.
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Episode 27
Listen in as Cindy shares how advice from her son helped her adjust to her new normal.
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Episode 25
Listen in as Alice shares a boyfriend's advice from many years ago. Words that give her hope, even today.
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Episode 24
Listen in as Bill shares how a chance encounter changed his perspective on vision loss.
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Episode 23
Listen in as Ruth shares how her frustration and impatience turned around with just one phone call.
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Episode 22
Listen in as Sam shares how he struggled trying to hide his vision loss-and how he finally turned the corner.
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Episode 21
Listen in as Eugenia describes how her own determination and the support of friends helped her keep moving forward.
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Episode 20
Listen in as Zenobia shares how she found the support and strength she needed.
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Episode 19
Listen in and be inspired as Saras explains how changing her perspective to, "Why NOT me?" helped her tap into her strengths.
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Episode 18
Sheri shares with us how the love for her horses helped her find purpose and peace.
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Episode 17
Kendra shares with us how a visit to a low vision center gave her more than she ever expected.
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Episode 16
Listen to Carol's story as she shares how owning her changing vision gave her the drive to discover useful resources and realize that it's important—and okay—to ask for help when she needs it.
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Episode 15
Listen in as Chuck shares how he found hope in a chance encounter.
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Episode 14
Listen in as Kara shares how she found new ways to express herself in her love of visual art, and redefining a meaningful life.
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Episode 13
Listen in as Leah shares how it finally clicked for her—the realization that she's not alone.
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Episode 12
Hear how Axel set one goal at a time and slowly took the steps to rebuild his skills, reengage in his art, and reestablish his emotional well being.
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Episode 11
Gregory shares how finding a mentor made all the difference in the world to him, and his entire family.
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Episode 10
Listen in as we hear from Sarah. For her, hearing a blind architect's story changed her perspective on what was possible.
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Episode 9
Listen in as Tom shares how leaning on his faith helps him adjust to vision loss.
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Episode 8
Pat shares with us the choices she made when faced with a visual impairment.
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Episode 7
Darryl shares with us how a referral to a low vision specialist was where his life with vision loss began to turn around.
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Episode 6
Annie shares with us the steps she took to work through her depression by seeking help from a mental health professional.
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Episode 5
Sharon shares with us how she worked through the isolation and found people just like her to get the support she needed.
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Episode 4
Hannah shares with us how she had to give herself permission to grieve her vision loss in order to reach acceptance.
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Episode 3
Randy's search for help led him into a whole new way of thinking.
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Episode 2
Ruth shares how her mother's advice, "Knock the T Off Can't," helped her.
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Episode 1
Larry shares how he found strength in his core beliefs to get him through the shock of his initial diagnosis.