"None of us know our future"
When Carolee was diagnosed with age-related macular degeneration, she was angry and frustrated. Over time, resentment began to fade a bit and the shock wore off. Gradually, her perspective started to shift.
Hadley
“None of us know our future”
Carolee: So, I haven't driven in over a year, and that's a really hard one for me because I was one of these people that was so independent, I just went and did everything and just thought, you know, I would always be able to do that.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Carolee: Hello, my name is Carolee from Alabama, and I'm just wanting today to let you kind of hear my story with my vision loss. My story started when I was 73 and I'm now 79, so I'm six years into this.
I didn't know anything was really wrong with my eyes and I had always went maybe every two years, and I had my eyes checked and the last time I went, she says, you have the start of AMD macular. And to get on some vitamins. So, I didn't think too much of it. She said I had the start of it. So maybe that was, I don't know, a year before this happened. And in 73 I was with my husband. We were riding in his truck and he was driving and I noticed I couldn't see the cars in front of me. And I said to him, I said, something's wrong with my eyes. So, when we got back, we were in a different city at the time, and when I got back home, I said, I'm going to make an appointment. So, I went back to the eye doctor and she looked at me, she says, you need to go see a retinal specialist. And he informed me that I needed to get a shot in my eye.
So that day he did take care of my eye and what it was, it started in my right eye and my left eye wasn't affected at all. So, I couldn't tell that anything was really wrong. I had really good vision at that time in my left eye. So, this went on for a little bit, say three years, and then it went to my left eye and it's wet in both eyes. And I don't ask a lot of questions, actually, it makes me really, really nervous at this point about it.
I have a 5x magnifying glass now. I can still see as far as cooking and things like that. I'm not driving, my husband doesn't want me to drive. He doesn't trust with my sight. So, I haven't driven in over a year, and that's a really hard one for me because I was one of these people that was so independent, I just went and did everything and just thought, you know, I would always be able to do that.
And I'm still grateful today I will say that I can see what I can see and it's six years.
So, I guess what I want to say is it was a shock. And when it first happened, I was angry for a long time.
I thought, why me? Why me? And I was mad, angry, frustrated, because a lot of times it's blurry, if I want to read recipes or look at a can or read how to open something or what to cook. It's pretty frustrating for me at times and I get resentful, but then I realize instead of thinking of what I can't do, I just am very grateful for what I still can do. So, I think for me, it's probably 95% attitude
I try to stay positive. When people look at me, they don't see any difference, I suppose for right now, I don't talk about it a lot to other people because I'm thinking, I don't want them to think I want pity or whatever. But I have found out that people, when you're out in the public, they do want to help. They're very helpful.
None of us know our future, but I'm very grateful for today. And I thank you all for listening. Have a good day.
Marc: Insights & Sound Bites has made possible by Hadley’s donors. Who understand that hearing someone else’s story can truly make a difference.
You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 66
When the scenario Leighann had feared for years finally happened and glaucoma took much of her vision, it hit her hard. But her desire to keep living meant challenging herself—even when it scared her.
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Episode 65
Michael's vision loss led him down a long, uncomfortable road, discovering what he had to let go of and what he could still hold on to for his future. He continues to challenge himself to try new things.
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Episode 64
Tamisue's eyesight has diminished to the point where she feels stuck between two worlds—not enough vision to function as she once did, but not fully blind. She fears her world going completely dark. However, an addition to her life has made a tremendous difference for both her and her family.
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Episode 63
The loss Tom feels regarding his vision is complicated because it is ongoing. Acceptance has not come easy. Through the years, though, he has come to approach life a bit differently.
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Episode 62
Anne's declining vision had her feeling down and sorry for herself. But two gifts—one she gave and one she received—helped turn things around for her.
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Episode 61
Glaucoma advanced to the point where Ron found it too difficult to do the volunteer work he loved in retirement. Still, he found a way to pull himself out of the hole he felt he was in and continue to give back.
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Episode 60
Diabetic retinopathy has taken more and more of Charles's vision. To cope, he is learning new approaches to life AND leaning into areas of passion that don't rely on sight.
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Episode 59
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.
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Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
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Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
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Episode 56
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.
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Episode 55
Dave calls his experience with vision loss a slow torture. In the face of this, however, he has found a sense of inspiration in explorers, history, and an activity you wouldn't typically connect with vision loss, sightseeing.