Strength in Asking
Moving to New York City and becoming comfortable using a white cane helped Nisha see asking for help differently and opened the door to unexpected connections with others.
Hadley
Strength in Asking
Nisha: The white cane communicated to the world that I was visually impaired because I still have a lot of the habits of a sighted person. And without that white cane, people look at me and say she doesn't need any help.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Nisha: My name is Nisha Falcigno and I am someone who has been diagnosed with cone rod dystrophy. I was diagnosed with that about 30 years ago, and in the last 10 years it's definitely created a situation where I'm now legally blind and I use a cane and several other type tools to help me navigate living in New York City.
Unfortunately, I realized I couldn't drive anymore and I lived in suburban Connecticut, so that was a bit of an issue. I then decided that the best thing for me was to move to a more urban environment, one that I was already familiar with before my vision loss took effect. So I had a familiarity with the landscape. Once I moved to New York, there were so many more resources available to help me adjust to things.
And it's just a matter of, for instance, going into a grocery store and identifying yourself as visually impaired and asking for help in that store. And someone is kind enough to take me through the store and help me do things like shopping and all the other things you need to do when you can't really identify items on a shelf anymore.
First, I had to learn that I needed to use white cane and the white cane communicated to the world that I was visually impaired because I still have a lot of the habits of a sighted person. And without that white cane, people look at me and say she doesn't need any help. Why is she asking these questions? So, using the white cane was something I had to really get over some mental hurdles in using it because I then now communicated to the world, “okay, I have this visual impairment.”
And the beautiful thing about that is that I've had so many interactions with people who were basically strangers and it's given me that human connection that I might not have ever had had I not needed the help and asked for it. And it's given me a wonderful experience of meeting all these people that I never would've normally had the opportunity to meet.
And I realized at that point that asking for help and using the cane were really a source of courage and it wasn't a source of weakness. Once I figured that out, it changed my life.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
-
Episode 66
When the scenario Leighann had feared for years finally happened and glaucoma took much of her vision, it hit her hard. But her desire to keep living meant challenging herself—even when it scared her.
-
Episode 65
Michael's vision loss led him down a long, uncomfortable road, discovering what he had to let go of and what he could still hold on to for his future. He continues to challenge himself to try new things.
-
Episode 64
Tamisue's eyesight has diminished to the point where she feels stuck between two worlds—not enough vision to function as she once did, but not fully blind. She fears her world going completely dark. However, an addition to her life has made a tremendous difference for both her and her family.
-
Episode 63
The loss Tom feels regarding his vision is complicated because it is ongoing. Acceptance has not come easy. Through the years, though, he has come to approach life a bit differently.
-
Episode 62
Anne's declining vision had her feeling down and sorry for herself. But two gifts—one she gave and one she received—helped turn things around for her.
-
Episode 61
Glaucoma advanced to the point where Ron found it too difficult to do the volunteer work he loved in retirement. Still, he found a way to pull himself out of the hole he felt he was in and continue to give back.
-
Episode 60
Diabetic retinopathy has taken more and more of Charles's vision. To cope, he is learning new approaches to life AND leaning into areas of passion that don't rely on sight.
-
Episode 59
Bruce's vision had been decreasing for years. When it reached the point where he was tripping over objects and bumping into people, he felt embarrassed and kept his vision loss a secret. His wife convinced him to try something new.
-
Episode 58
Marie grieved the loss of her vision, and still does. Yet, on a sunny August morning, she came to a realization that made all the difference in the world.
-
Episode 57
Terry's doctor told him, "There's nothing more we can do. You'll never drive again," and he was distraught. Then he recalled his military days as a Marine and sailor, and that got him through.
-
Episode 56
When Emma lost her sight in just a few months, she struggled to cope. She felt alone, her insecurities grew, and self-esteem plummeted. With time, she came to a new understanding and that helped her tremendously.
-
Episode 55
Dave calls his experience with vision loss a slow torture. In the face of this, however, he has found a sense of inspiration in explorers, history, and an activity you wouldn't typically connect with vision loss, sightseeing.
Join the Hadley Community
Hadley's resources are always available to you. Create a no-cost Hadley account to go further:
-
Pick up where you left off Everything you start is automatically saved across Hadley.
-
Personalized recommendations We'll suggest resources based on your interests.
-
Join live discussions Live and lively discussions on technology, cooking, and more, all geared toward the community of people living with vision loss.
-
Find peer support Connect with people who understand what you're going through.