Strength in Asking
Moving to New York City and becoming comfortable using a white cane helped Nisha see asking for help differently and opened the door to unexpected connections with others.
Hadley
Strength in Asking
Nisha: The white cane communicated to the world that I was visually impaired because I still have a lot of the habits of a sighted person. And without that white cane, people look at me and say she doesn't need any help.
Marc: This is Hadley’s Insights and Sound Bites, where people facing vision loss share what has helped them cope and adjust.
Nisha: My name is Nisha Falcigno and I am someone who has been diagnosed with cone rod dystrophy. I was diagnosed with that about 30 years ago, and in the last 10 years it's definitely created a situation where I'm now legally blind and I use a cane and several other type tools to help me navigate living in New York City.
Unfortunately, I realized I couldn't drive anymore and I lived in suburban Connecticut, so that was a bit of an issue. I then decided that the best thing for me was to move to a more urban environment, one that I was already familiar with before my vision loss took effect. So I had a familiarity with the landscape. Once I moved to New York, there were so many more resources available to help me adjust to things.
And it's just a matter of, for instance, going into a grocery store and identifying yourself as visually impaired and asking for help in that store. And someone is kind enough to take me through the store and help me do things like shopping and all the other things you need to do when you can't really identify items on a shelf anymore.
First, I had to learn that I needed to use white cane and the white cane communicated to the world that I was visually impaired because I still have a lot of the habits of a sighted person. And without that white cane, people look at me and say she doesn't need any help. Why is she asking these questions? So, using the white cane was something I had to really get over some mental hurdles in using it because I then now communicated to the world, “okay, I have this visual impairment.”
And the beautiful thing about that is that I've had so many interactions with people who were basically strangers and it's given me that human connection that I might not have ever had had I not needed the help and asked for it. And it's given me a wonderful experience of meeting all these people that I never would've normally had the opportunity to meet.
And I realized at that point that asking for help and using the cane were really a source of courage and it wasn't a source of weakness. Once I figured that out, it changed my life.
Marc: You never know who might need to hear your story. If you’d like to share with us, just leave us a message on our Insights & Sound Bites voicemail. By calling, 847-512-4867. Or, you can use your smartphone or computer and email us a recording to [email protected].
All Episodes
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Episode 78
When Cliff unexpectedly lost a fair amount of his sight, he felt overwhelmed. But with time, he found a way forward.
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Episode 77
Thomas is experiencing many challenges of late, including vision loss. He finds inspiration and hope knowing he's not alone.
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Episode 76
Nikki has lost her vision due to a rare autoimmune disease. While she appreciates positive bits of advice and encouragement, she also stays grounded in the struggles she's facing and knows others do, too. She's feeling the loss.
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Episode 75
When a favorite hobby became more difficult for Dianne due to glaucoma, she learned to tap into something else. It turned out to be the ideal thing.
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Episode 74
Peter's sight slowly but steadily worsened over the course of several years. When he had to give up driving, his self-image took a hit. Working through his emotions has helped him cope and adjust.
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Episode 73
Sherry's vision loss has been gradual yet relentless. Asking for help to do things she used to be able to do on her own is a challenge for her, as it is for many. But she's finding some new tools and new ways to do things.
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Episode 72
Carolyn lost much of her vision after several glaucoma surgeries, leaving her feeling angry and discouraged. But a familiar childhood story inspired her to keep trying, even when tasks seemed impossible.
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Episode 71
Learning he would never see again was heartbreaking for Shannon. Embracing what challenged him, Shannon discovered strength in the unfamiliar.
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Episode 70
The week Jessica was diagnosed with an eye disease that would progressively impair her vision, she also found out she had cancer. A few things have helped her continue to feel strong and less isolated.
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Episode 69
Jack's vision has been declining for years. The hardest part for him is that it just keeps changing, so he needs to keep adapting. A routine Jack's wife put in place for the couple has helped him cope and adjust.
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Episode 68
Losing a fair amount of her vision brought with it a series of other losses for Dia. She began to feel depressed and very fearful. However, she gradually started giving herself pep talks and reconnecting with the things that bring her joy.
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Episode 67
Julia had always lived life on her own terms. So, when vision loss meant giving up her car keys, she used a white cane or her husband's arm to guide her steps, and kept going. Still, she noticed a change in how others treated her… until she made a decision she now calls, "the best thing I ever did."
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